


Excuse Me, Bitch

by Peter164



Series: Alternate Universe [8]
Category: Captain America - All Media Types, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Anxiety, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Flashbacks, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Intersex Bucky, M/M, Mpreg, Non-Consensual Body Modification, Original Character(s), Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Switch Bucky, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-28
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-05-23 12:13:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 41,542
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6116110
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Peter164/pseuds/Peter164
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Bucky knew he couldn't get sick, so why did he feel bad? When he gets the news back he nearly laughs, how is that possible? But as he digs deeper he learns that there were a lot more experiments on him than he thought, and he doesn't know if that's good or bad.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. 1 Week

**Author's Note:**

> My first Mpreg, so please don't shoot me.

He stayed on the couch. Who knew he could end up so tired after doing so little. He didn't want to move, that was too exhausting. Steve came inside, wrapped his arms around his shoulders and kissed his cheek. 

"What are you watching?" He whispered in his ear. 

"Sherlock." Bucky told him. Benedict Cumberbatch stood up on the screen. 

"What episode?" 

"Sign of Three." He tilted his head up and planted a kiss on his lips. Steve walked over and sat next to him. He pressed kisses on Bucky's neck and cheeks. He stradled him and started sucking purple bruises into his collarbone. Bucky pushed on his shoulders to get him to let go. 

"No, Steve." He sighed, "I'm still sore from last time."

"That was nearly a week ago." Steve nuzzled his nose in his neck. Needy Steve was Bucky's favorite Steve. He was the most adorable thing. 

"But it was my first time bottoming in 70 years. And you're huge now." Bucky explained. Steve whined. His hot breath hit his neck and sent shivers down his spine, "Fine, you got me. On your back."

Steve climbed off of his lap and leaned back on the armrest . Bucky tugged on his ankles to straighten his legs. He settled down between Steve's knees and worked on his belt. 

~*~

15 minutes later, Bucky wiped the corner of his mouth with his hand as he sat back on his haunches. He rubbed the back of his head and winced a little at the soreness. 

"Must've been really worked up today, Stevie." He pulled his boyfriend's pants back up. Steve pushed himself up on his elbows. He hugged Bucky's shoulders and pulled him back down to lay on his chest. 

"Believe me, you have no idea." He smiled and kissed him. He ran his fingers through his hair and left another kiss on the top of his head. They watched as Sherlock explained Mary's pregnancy. Morning sickness, increased appetite, and change in taste perception. 

"Weren't you nauseous this morning, Buck?" Steve teased. 

"You're right, I'm probably pregnant. It's not like I'm a man, without the capability to get pregnant." He told him. 

"You never know." Steve couldn't stop himself, Bucky knew that. 

"Maybe I should take a test. It'll probably tell me I have dick cancer or something." He nuzzled into his collarbone.

They stayed tangled up together until Bucky decided he was hungry. He stood up and wandered to the kitchen. He grabbed a pop tart and took a bite. His face scrunched up. His brain noped out of the usually pleasant experience. What was up? A thought flashed through his head for a fraction of a second before he mentally laughed it out. 

_Don't you remember last time this happened?_ Part of him asked the other. 

_What the fucking hell are you talking about?_ He replied to himself. He sat and argued with himself while he tried looking for something to eat. He settled on an orange and went back to sit with Steve. 

"You're eating an orange." He glanced at his hand. He'd sat up since he'd been in the kitchen. 

"That I am." Bucky rested his head on his shoulder. 

"You hate oranges." Steve reminded him. 

"I guess I don't today." He shrugged and peeled the fruit. He popped the pieces in his mouth and chewed. The episode ended and Bucky decided to switch to Doctor Who. 

"What episode are we on Buck?" Steve asked. He draped his arm around his shoulders. 

"Series four, episode six." Bucky played it. His muscles didn't want to move anymore. It felt like he had just gotten over a cold and his body was still recovering. But even so, he still turned his head enough to leave kisses up and down his neck. He wasn't quite sure what came over him. He usually stayed away from kisses unless he felt obliged to, or he needed something from him, usually sex. 

"What's going on with you today?" Steve asked. He sounded curious, not angry or upset like Bucky expected. 

"I have no idea what you're talking about." He lied a little. 

"You're not up and moving. Normally you're fidgeting with something at least. You're eating oranges and you're kissing me because you can." He explained, "It's not like you."

"I know. I think I'm just tired. I know I've been overworking myself. It's probably just me rebounding." He answered honestly, "And, God, I hope you're not complaining about kisses."

"I'm not. It's just weird. Do you think you're sick?" Steve asked. He paused the TV just as a little blonde girl stepped out of some kind of machine. He turned to face his boyfriend. 

"I can't get sick." Bucky told him. 

"Well maybe we should get it checked out." Steve asked. His eyebrows turned upward. 

"I'm fine. I don't need to go to a doctor." He stated. 

"I'm sure someone will be willing to look over you. It can't be too difficult to figure out." He rubbed his arms and put their foreheads together. 

"We don't even have any friends that are doctors." Bucky reminded him. 

"Helen's back over. She's doing something with the cradle. I bet she could do something." Steve said with a smile. He placed a hand on the back of Bucky's neck, "If she agrees to look you over, will you actually let her?"

"Fine. If it makes you feel better." He rolled his eyes. Steve pressed their lips together. Bucky wrapped his arms around his waist. The next thing he knew, Steve was on top of him, holding himself up with his elbows. 

"I'll ask her next time I see her." Steve whispered to him. That turned out to be a very short time indeed. Clint ended up waltzing inside. Bucky panicked and pushed Steve off of him, onto the floor. He landed with a thud and a loud groan. 

"Is someone being naughty in there?" He sounded like a mom watching her teenage daughter. Probably on purpose there. 

"Shut up Clint." Steve pushed himself up and stood up. He helped Bucky up and went to go see Clint. He'd lost all concepts of personal space a long time ago and just kind of, showed up. He glanced at Bucky's neck. 

"Seriously, Steve? Hickeys?" He raised an eyebrow, "I'd ask, but I really don't want to know about your sex life."

"He came home horny. I didn't want to have sex. Ended up blowing him." Bucky smirked and leaned over the counter. Steve glared at him, "What? It's true."

"That doesn't mean I want to know." He whined. 

"What are you doing here, Clint? Besides commenting on things you shouldn't know about at all." Steve sighed. 

"I'm not the one leaving hickeys all over my boyfriend's neck." Clint raised his hands in defense, "And I came here to tell you that Helen wants to see you."

"When?" 

"ASAP. And I recommend not bringing Bucky. She'll get flustered when she realizes what went down." He advised. 

"Is that all?" Steve asked. Eager to get to Helen and find out what was wrong with Bucky. 

"And Nat would like to know what to get for Bucky's birthday. She knows it was last week, but she feels guilty." He explained, "That isn't as urgent."

"Thank you for letting us know." Steve told him. 

"Yeah, sure. Thanks for the scarring mental image." Clint said. 

"You're very welcome." Bucky internally laughed. Clint stuck his tongue out and left, "It's funny watching you get upset."

"Shut up." Steve scolded, "I'm going to see Helen. You're welcome to come."

"I'll stay here. I want to watch AHS. Dandy just met Twisty. And we also discovered he still drinks out of a bottle." He said. 

"Okay." He walked up behind Bucky and kissed his ear, leaving his hand to rest on his lower stomach, just below his bellybutton, "Right here's warmer than normal." 

"I'm sure." Bucky smiled. Something about that hand placement felt perfect. Something inside him clicked and he didn't want him to move. Of course, he did. 

~*~

Steve came back about half an hour later with the pretty little Korean doctor trailing behind him. 

"How's you're show, Bucky?" He walked up behind him and kissed his cheek. 

"Awesome. Francis Conroy is a sweetheart, as usual." He said. 

"Which one's that?"

"The old, rich, blonde lady in the puffy dresses." Bucky explained. 

"Come on, Helen promised to check up on you." Steve reached for the remote and paused the show. Bucky stood up and he ran his fingers through his hair, revealing his love bites to Dr. Cho. She blushed a little when she saw the purple trail along his collarbone. She asked him what was wrong, if he felt any pain or anything. Steve interjected sometimes. You could tell see was confused. 

"What's up?" He asked. It wasn't good when a doctor looked confused. 

"I'm not sure, to be honest." She bit her nails, "If you were a girl I'd order a blood test for hCG."

"I have no idea what that means." Bucky told her. He wasn't too concerned. He wasn't a girl. 

"I'd see if you were pregnant." She said. 

"You think I'm pregnant? Really?" He rolled his eyes. She nodded. 

"The problem is, is that you're not able to get pregnant. If I were you, I'd go to another doctor with medical equipment and see if they can find anything else." She shrugged, "Beyond that I'm baffled. I'm sorry I couldn't tell you anything else."

"It's fine." He waved her away. He couldn't believe that was the only possibility a medical professional could come up with. Steve walked her out and Bucky placed a hand under his bellybutton. He felt his blood pumping through his body. He was sick to his stomach. The world seemed to spin and he held his head in his hands. Steve came back and sat down next to him. He put his arms around him. Bucky shrugged him off. 

"What's wrong?" Steve asked, rubbing circles in his back. 

"Are you fucking kidding me?" Bucky stared at him, "She thinks I'm up fucking pregnant, that's what's wrong."

"We're not even sure yet." Steve pointed out, "We'll go see if you can even get pregnant, then we can freak out. Okay?" 

"No, not okay." Bucky told him, "Let's pretend I am having a baby. I'm not married, which is not okay. If not with society, then with me. I'm not sure if I want kids at all. I have no idea how to take care of a kid. I can't give birth to a kid. I-" 

Steve shut him up with a kiss. 

"If it makes you feel any better, I don't care." He pulled him in for a hug.

"It doesn't really." He hugged him back. Steve kept him close. Only standing to make an appointment to see a doctor.


	2. 3 Weeks

It took two weeks before he managed to get an appointment with a doctor. Just before they left, Steve got a call on his phone. He swore, which was Bucky's first clue something was up. Said that he couldn't make it, he was so sorry he couldn't. He kissed him and hurried out the door. Bucky understood, he knew that he couldn't be there always. So he put a smile on his face and waltzed inside the office. 

The doctor finally came inside and asked him every question the nurse did two seconds ago. The pair struck him as odd. According to gender roles, their positions should be switched. The perfectly lovely doctor should've come in with her printed scrubs first and measured him. The nerdy looking nurse should be walking in right now. But Bucky mentally shrugged, in fact he really liked the nurse. With his thick glasses and gay porn jokes. He made Bucky laugh. 

The doctor told him he was doing an ultrasound to check for a baby. That's what he signed up for and he hadn't eaten in 12 hours, so he was ready to get going. She took him to another little room and told him to take his shirt off. 

"You really only need to expose your stomach, but it's a lot easier not to have anything on from the waist up. I'm not sure why." She explained go him. He shrugged and pulled off his shirt. He could feel her staring at the scars webbing across his chest. Her eyes dipped to his bellybutton, where another thick scar trailed down below the waistband of his jeans. He wasn't sure what that was from. 

Pretty soon he was slathered in cold, clear goop that felt like runny Vaseline. It took a while longer for her to see anything useful. Then she pointed to the screen. 

"That there," It looked like a speck of dust on the computer, "Is a baby. Or it will be if things go well for you."

"So I'm knocked up?" Bucky asked. His heart pounded. 

"If that's how you want to put it." She smiled at him, "The problem is, you don't have anything but a uterus. You have no way to physically give birth to a baby."

"Is that going to be an issue?" He didn't want this baby, why did it break his heart to think he couldn't keep it. 

"Only if you don't want to have a C-section. But I don't suggest having a lot of kids if you do that. It's hard on your body." She explained while she cleaned him up, "To be honest, this scar on your stomach makes me think you've already had a baby. But it wouldn't be surprising if that's how you managed to get a uterus in the first place."

Bucky wasn't really listening. He was too busy worrying about how fucked he was. He managed to sort everything out before he left. Suddenly he wasn't very hungry anymore. He hurried home and called Steve. 

"Bucky, what wrong? Did something happen?" He quickly asked, "I've been anxious all day. We just finished. I'm on my way back now."

"No, I'm okay. But I wanted to know when you'd be here. I just got home. I wanted to tell you how it went." Bucky felt sick. But he couldn't get rid of his baby, he knew that, even if it was just a bundle of cells right now. 

"Give me 20 minutes? I should be back by then." Steve told him, "But I don't think I can wait that long."

"Then get here faster." Bucky teased. They talked nonsense for a few more minutes before hanging up. He didn't want to eat, but he knew he needed to. He ate some yogurt and researched what happened during pregnancy, a subject that, despite a decent health class and more female friends than male growing up, he was lacking. Nearly every website he visited was designed for women, understandably. But it made him feel very out of place and lost. Finally he heard FRIDAY's voice announce Steve's arrival. 

"I'm finally back." He swept his boyfriend up in a bone crunching hug, "How'd it go? Were they nice to you? Should I be excited or nervous? Because I'm kind of both. Let's go sit down."

And sit down they did. Steve was buzzing with excitment. A huge grin was plastered across his face. Bucky felt happier just being around him. 

"So what's the news?" He bounced the foot that was planted on the floor, "Are we having a baby?" 

"Well, we did an ultrasound, and she couldn't find much." Bucky started, just to fuck with him. Steve's eyebrows knit together, "But we kept at it. And we're having a baby."

Steve tackle hugged him, nailing him into the side of the couch. He peppered his face with kisses, making Bucky giggle. 

"When are you due?" His whole face was lit up like Christmas. 

"December 15th." Bucky told him, "But she told me that wasn't very accurate, because I don't have obvious periods. Which is what they normally go on."

"A Christmas baby!" Steve looked like a little kid. He put a hand over Bucky's belly, "You're gonna be the most protected kid there ever was."

"Steve, it's smaller than a poppy seed. I don't think it has ears." Bucky held his face. 

"I don't care." He kissed his cheek, "It's our baby and it needs to know that we love it. Do you think it'll be a boy or a girl?" 

"Steve, I'm three weeks-"

"You said that." He was still smiling, "But you can feel it, I can't. Do you think it's a girl or a boy?" 

"I'd say girl, but I don't think I can have girls." He shrugged, "I'm not quite sure how it works."

They talked about their baby for long enough they lost track of time. Somehow Steve ended up with his arms around Bucky's waist and his head buried in his stomach. He claimed he was bonding. He knew Steve was expecting this huge new change for Bucky to be feeling. But really all he felt was tired and conflicted. 

"You don't seem excited about this, Bucky. What's wrong?" Steve asked. 

"I don't know if I want to keep it." He admitted, "I don't think I can take care of a baby. It's expensive and hard, really hard. I can barely take care of myself, much less a tiny human that can't even hold a spoon."

"Oh." Steve's expression fell, "Well I guess you could get rid of it if you wanted. It's not my place to decide what you do. But if it makes a difference, I would like you to keep it."

"Thats the problem, I don't know if I want to get an abortion. I want to keep it too, but I just don't know if I can." He explained, "I don't know what to do."

"Well, beyond raising it, what's making you upset?" Steve tried helping out. 

"For one thing, the actual pregnancy and growing a living creature inside my body." He started. 

"I'm here. I can't make anything go away, but I can try to make it easier for you." He smiled a little. He sat back up, leaving Bucky laying on the couch. 

"And having a baby before I'm married. That's gotten fairly accepted now, but that doesn't mean that I want to." He bit his lip. 

"Then let's get married." Steve said without missing a beat, "What do we need? A license, someone to marry us, and a couple witnesses right? That's not hard. If it's that important to you, we can get married before you even start showing."

"That leads to another problem. I don't want to get married because I'm pregnant. If we were to get married, then we should wait a while." He said. Steve leaned back over and kissed him again. 

"Then we'll wait." He smiled. 

"I love you, Stevie." He sighed. Steve kissed the tip of his nose. 

"Do you want to go for a walk?" 

"Sure." He held his cheek, "But you're not out yet." 

"I'm holding your hand the entire way, so if people want to ask me then they can. I don't care." Steve shrugged, "The only reason I haven't yet is because no one asked. I might even feel the need to kiss you on our little family outing."

"If you want to call a collection of about a hundred cells part of a family." Bucky reminded him. 

"Not a family. It's our family. And we're gonna be the best family that ever was." Steve told him, "With Auntie Nat and Uncle Clint. Annoying Uncle Tony, weird cousin Thor."

"Uncle Bruce?" He suggested, "Cousin Wanda."

"Uncle Sam."

"Captain America and Uncle Sam. The perfect duo." Bucky laughed. Steve rolled his eyes, "Now come on. Let's go."

"Okay." Steve stood up and held his hand out to help up Bucky.

~*~

It took a full two days for the questions to start rolling in. Steve went out to buy milk and about 10 seconds later was talking about his sexuality/relationship status to what had to be 50 cameras. Bucky went outside to see what was up. Bad idea. 

"How long have you two been together?"

"About-"

"Why did you decide now was the best time to come out?"

"We didn't, we just-"

"Were you a couple during the war?"

Bucky's head spun. He couldn't focus on all these things at once. It didn't take long for him to blow. 

"All of you shut the fucking hell up!" He screamed at them. They all stopped talking, "Better. Now sit down." 

They stayed standing. 

"Didn't you hear me? I said sit down." He glared at them all. They all hesitantly sat on the ground, "Wow. You guys can listen. Now, I'll only answer one question at a time. So pay attention to what I say. I'm not repeating anything."

"Bucky, maybe you shouldn't be to hard on them. They're only curious." He defended. 

"They need to be put in their place. I'm sick of 'em hanging around here." He told him, "Head down to the store. And don't forget ice cream. You forgot it last time."

"You reminded me inside." Steve told him, "A couple minutes ago." 

"I don't want you to forget. I deserve a reward for what you're making me go through." Bucky told him, "And I know you're denying it. It is your fault though. I hope you realize that."

"Are you going to do that the whole time." Steve rolled his eyes. 

"Probably." Bucky shrugged, "Now please go to the store now."

"Fine I'm going." Steve put his hands up and left. Bucky allowed them to ask him questions. 

"How long have you been a couple?" A man asked. 

"Three years in May." He answered, "Plus another four if you count when we secretly dated in the 30s and 40s."

"Why did you pick now to come out?" A girl this time. 

"We weren't ever keeping it a secret. I'm just not a fan of PDA." Bucky replied. 

"Then why did you all of a sudden kiss him in public?" 

"Because we recently went through a very exciting, uhm, we'll call it an event, in our relationship and we were both, very happy that day." He tried to be vague about it. 

"What was this event?" Another girl asked. 

"If I wanted you to know I would've told you. Some things I'd like to stay private. If you know what that word means." He told her, "However, it'll be revealed at a later date. Not sure when."

"What is it that Steve is making you do?" A man asked.

"No comment." He told them, "I'm done answering your questions. If I catch you snooping around us I swear to God I will break all your fingers."

He went back inside. Soon, Steve was back with ice cream and milk. He pecked Bucky's cheek, hugging his waist from behind. His hands rested on his lower tummy. 

"I can't stop touching our baby. I feel like I'm going to end up feeling something. Right now it's just warm." He told him.

"Probably won't feel anything for another month, but you're welcome to keep rubbing my stomach." Bucky continued eating. 

"I'm glad you decided to keep it." Steve said, "I really didn't want you to get an abortion."

"I know." Bucky couldn't stop the smile that spread across his face. 

That night, they ended up falling asleep with Bucky curled around Steve. Pretty soon they wouldn't be able to do that anymore. Bucky's sister got big when she was pregnant, Bucky probably would too. Maybe not, maybe it wasn't genetic. Maybe it depended on the size of the baby. What if it was a tiny baby like Steve was? They both hoped so, for Bucky's sake. Neither wanted to know what kind of horrible pain it took for Bucky's mom to give birth to such a fat baby. That fat baby ended up being beautiful though, Steve's beautiful Bucky.


	3. 5-6 Weeks

Steve would touch Bucky's tummy every chance he got. He had already fallen in love with the idea of being a daddy. Bucky on the other hand, was suffering. Not with the baby, he loved the baby. But he hated what came with it. He hadn't felt any physical symptoms yet, but mentally he was not in an okay place. 

He figured something about the stress his body was undergoing reminded him of HYDRA, even if he couldn't feel anything. He had frequent nightmares about surgery. He saw the scientists inserting a big red blob of tissue into his gut. He watched them sew him back together, from his bellybutton down. Something about it, probably everything, made him sick. Most mornings he'd wake up and immediately throw up. He told Steve it was just morning sickness. But he knew it wasn't the baby, at least not directly. 

He hadn't seen another camera since he chewed them out. Steve scolded him after that. Bucky didn't care, he finally got his privacy. 

"You realize we're going to have to tell people eventually, right?" Bucky asked as they sat on the couch together, "We'll have to come clean."

"I know. We can wait a while. Wait until you're comfortable with everyone knowing." Steve told him, "It's up to you."

"I'm going to wait until I start showing." He said, "At least for now."

"Okay. But can we tell the team earlier?" Steve asked. He had his hands over Bucky's bellybutton. 

"Next month? When I'm two months along? We should have pictures by then." He suggested. Steve nodded enthusiastically. 

"What are we talking about?" Clint came up behind them. Bucky panicked and punched him in the face.

~*~

Clint sat with his head tilted back and a kleenex under his nose.

"Sorry, again, you scared me." Bucky rubbed the back of his head, "Is the blood stopping at least?" 

"No." He replied bitterly, "But I still don't know what you guys were talking about."

"It's not important." Steve told him, "You'll find out."

"Is it a secret?" Clint asked, he was breathing through his mouth, "I'm good at keeping secrets. I promise I won't tell."

"You're awful at keeping secrets." Bucky told him. 

"Yeah? Name one time I didn't keep a secret." He challenged.

"You told the entire team we were together after you caught us kissing." Steve said. 

"And you told Thor where I kept my secret Pop Tart stash." Bucky continued. 

"And when you told us that Nat couldn't have kids." Steve added. 

"You sold out my fucking Pop-Tarts, you ass." Bucky was still bitter about that, even though it happened more than a year ago. 

"Jeez, guys. I said name one time, not four." He pouted as best he could with his facial bleeding, "I thought you were supposed to be nice, Steve. This isn't nice. Why can't I know what's going on with you two?" 

"Because we're telling everyone in a few weeks. That includes you." Steve explained, "You can wait that long. I promise."

"But I can't." He whined. The blood was finally starting to slow and they rushed him out, "I'm an ex-spy. I'll figure out what's going on."

"Good luck with that." Bucky laughed. Steve put his arm around his shoulders.

"He's going to try climbing up the wall outside again. You realize that right?" Steve asked him.

"I know. He knows I'm willing to shoot him though." Bucky shrugged, "I've done it once already."

"That won't stop him." Steve shook his head. 

"Not even slow him down."

~*~

Within a week, they had already pushed Clint off the balcony, knocked him out (resulting a a bit of Amnesia for a few minutes), knocked him out again later in the day, stabbed him with a fork, sadly no skin was broken, threw him down the garbage chute, scared him half to death with Bucky's "Gollum voice", threw a pen at him, leaving an indent in the wall, and now Clint was trying to crawl through the vents again. 

"I can hear you Clint." Bucky shouted while he sat on the counter eating potato chips and Nutella.

"No you can't. I am silent, like the wind." Clint said from his spot in the ceiling. 

"Oh you're trying to be like the wind? Well then, you're doing perfect." Bucky said. 

"Shut up." 

"Hey, I'm not the ex-spy here. I'm just a Russian assassin with a hundred percent kill rate." Bucky defended. 

"Why don't you bring Steve in here and talk to him about what's up with you guys?" He asked, at this point willing to try anything. 

"Isn't this the exact same setup we had last time? I think you've still got the scar." Bucky reminded. Clint's war flashbacks came back. He gunshot, the tearing pain in his side, Bucky laughing at him. 

"We don't need to reenact that." Clint stated adamantly. 

"Really? I have a gun in this drawer right here-"

"I'm leaving!" He shouted down. Bucky giggled and smiled to himself. Steve came inside and rubbed his hands over Bucky's stomach. He gave him little kisses to his neck.

"Feeling any better, Buck?" He questioned. 

"Not really." He replied, "But there isn't much I can do about that."

"I know. I'm headed out to the store, need anything?" He asked. 

"No, I'm okay. If I change my mind I'll let you know." Bucky kissed his nose. Steve smiled and hugged him goodbye. 

~*~

Bucky couldn't know how much Steve was actually babying him. Pun not intended. Bucky hadn't even noticed how sensitive he was to smell now. But Steve had actually done his research and had been keeping his boyfriend happy in as subtle ways as he could. 

He took him out to the warehouse a lot to give him a chance at fresher air. He switched out nearly everything in the bathroom for an unscented version. He did laundry more often. And he tried to keep their home smelling sweet. Mint and lemons seemed to be Bucky's favorites. 

And on top of that he would occasionally sneak in a multivitamin in with Bucky's pills. He'd been given the okay to continue taking his antidepressants and anxiety pills. Mostly because everyone involved was terrified of what a relapse might mean. 

Steve almost died from exhaustion trying to keep Bucky happy when he came home. He distanced himself, often refused to talk, he turned into an empty shell. Or he would sit and cry and scream and bang his head into the wall, only to collapse in an hour and shake until Steve hugged him. 

He gathered what he needed and headed back home. 

~*~

Bucky didn't know what was happening until it had already happened. Steve was gone, but Bucky didn't mind. Until the flashbacks started. This was the first time he'd ever remembered anything from his time as the Winter Soldier while he was awake. 

He had that awful mask around his mouth that made him feel muzzled in. He pulled the trigger of his gun. The bullet tore through the girl's hipbone and hit the man in the center of his chest. The scent of blood and gunpowder wafted through the air. He gaged. He scrambled away as quickly as he could. When he was finally out of sight he ripped the mask off his face and threw up. 

Bucky glanced around, suddenly back in reality. His hands were shaking. How could he have done something so awful? He recognized the girl. The hair was a dead giveaway. How did she let him befriend her so easily? After he shot her. Twice. 

Steve still wasn't back and Bucky needed to apologize. It wouldn't do much to help, but it was something that needed to be done. He hurried out to the training facility, where she almost always was. He ended up running into Clint again. 

"You okay buddy?" He asked, putting a hand on his shoulder, "Where's Steve?" 

"Store. Is Nat here?" His nerves still hadn't settled and he may or may not have been hyperventilating. 

"Yeah, I'll go get her." He said, "But first you have to tell me if you're okay."

"Why are you so concerned with me?" He had always gotten defensive when he was upset, he couldn't help it. 

"Because I might have snuck back in the vents to figure out what's up. You froze up for a while, as soon as you snapped out of it you were so panicked." Clint explained, "I want to know if you're doing okay."

"I'll be better if I can talk to Nat." He said, trying to push past him. 

"I'll go get her, stay here." He made Bucky sit down on one of the benches and wait for him to come back. Clint pulled out his phone as he walked, probably texting Steve to tell him he needed to get back here as soon as possible. He walked back with Natasha following close behind. Bucky breathed a sigh of relief and stood up to pull her into a hug. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't know. You've probably still got the scar. How did you even get over that? I can't even apologize enough." He babbled on. The smell of sweat assaulted his nose, but he forced himself not to throw up. 

"What are you even talking about?" She pushed his back and held his shoulders, trying to get him to sit back down. 

"In the car, you were standing in front of him and-" His bottom lip quivered. 

"You shot me." She finished for him in Russian. He nodded, "It's okay. You didn't know what you were doing. I've done bad things too. You have nothing to worry about."

"But-"

"Nothing to worry about." She told him, "We're friends now. You have Steve now. You're living a good life."

"I'm still so sorry for what I did." He told her. 

"I know, and I forgive you. Because it wasn't your choice." She smiled at him, "Now get out of here. I've never been in your boat, but I bet the smell is killing you."

"I don't unders-" 

"Don't play dumb. I know what's up. I won't tell." She said. She shooed him out and told him to eat food with lots of folic acid. 

He sat on the couch and nearly stopped breathing when he noticed what was really fucked up. The fact that he shot two people at once for apparently no reason other than he was told to hadn't even fazed him. He hadn't cared that he'd ended the life of one innocent man. What made him throw up, however long ago, was just the way the gunsmoke smelled. He pulled his knees to his chest. 

Steve busted through the door and ran up to Bucky, sweeping him up in a hug. Bucky clutched tightly to his shirt. He remembered what his therapists said. Cling to what makes you happy, if it means never letting go of Steve's hand for the rest of your life or running every morning or not wearing purple shoes. Never, ever let it go. 

He moved his hands down into Steve's and rested his forehead on his shoulder. He couldn't keep the tears back anymore. Steve sat them down on the couch and let him cry. He let go of Bucky's hands and wrapped his arms around his shoulders. He kissed his temple and rubbed his back. 

"I'm such an awful person." He muttered. 

"You're not." Steve promised, "You're a beautiful person. You're a funny person. You're a headstrong person. You're a smart person. You're a clever person. You're a talented person. You're an excitable person. You're not perfect, but neither am I. I'm just a spangley grandpa, according to Tony."

Bucky started singing Star Spangled Man with a plan. 

"Shut up." He laughed. 

"What? You mean you _won't_ carry the flag from Hoboken to Spokane?" Bucky teased. Steve rolled his eyes. 

"Our kid's gonna have a hell of a time keeping that song out of his head." Steve said, "Also, why is there a knife in the floor?" 

"Must've dropped it without noticing." He shrugged, "I kind of had a flashback earlier while I was cutting up an apple. According to Clint I froze up."

"Is that why he told me I needed to get home?" 

"He didn't know it was a flashback. He just knew I was acting weird and I think he was concerned." He explained. 

"It means he cares about you. He just doesn't quite know how to handle you." Steve said, "I thought you were a good judge of body language."

"Shut up and kiss me." Bucky said. 

"Gladly." Steve pulled his face up towards his and pressed their lips together. Bucky smiled into their kiss and moved to straddle his boyfriend's hips. Steve hooked his fingers in Bucky's belt loops and pulled him closer, earning a small yelp from the other. Steve kissed lower, down his neck. He pulled the collar off his shirt back and sucked a bruise into his flesh. Bucky whimpered and pulled on the hem of Steve's shirt. Steve picked him up and carried him to their bed. Bucky squirmed with excitement as he was placed carefully on the edge of the bed.


	4. 7 Weeks

Bucky woke up with Steve's arm draped over his waist. He curled back into him and waited for him to wake up. It didn't take long for his grip to tighten. Steve kissed the back of his neck, making Bucky smile. 

"Morning, Buck." Steve said. His voice was husky, dropping down another octave, "You feeling okay?"

"Nauseous." He replied, "And tired. And there's enough saliva in my mouth to almost make me sick."

"That's no fun." Steve snuggled back into his neck, "You're tummy's still warmer than the rest of you."

"Probably because there's a person inside it." Bucky reminded him. 

"I know. I put the person there." Steve said. They heard a thud in the ceiling, "Seriously, Clint? When was the last time you weren't in our ceiling?" 

"About half an hour ago." He said, "Do you think you could talk a little louder? I couldn't quiet catch that."

"You'll find out soon enough." Bucky told him, "And when the paparazzi find out, we'll be swimming in questions."

"Just flip them off. That's what you normally do anyway." Steve pulled him in closer.

"But you always tell me not to." He whined. 

"Well, I'm giving you permission now." Steve started snoring lightly again. 

"Steve," Bucky smacked him lightly, "I think Nat knows."

"She knows everything. I had a feeling she'd have it figured out by now." Steve muttered, "We should get up."

"Probably." They didn't move for another hour. And when they finally did stir it was only because Fury had a mission for them. For Steve really, but it was at the point where they were a unit. You didn't get one without the other. 

It didn't take long to get orders. It wasn't even a real complex job. Hostage terrorist situation, nothing they hadn't done a thousand times before. 

"Bucky's staying here." Steve told Fury. 

"Like hell I am." Bucky stated. 

"Buck, I know you want to go, but it's too dangerous right now. I don't want you getting hurt." Steve sighed. 

"What? Just because you knocked me up means that I-" Bucky suddenly remembered who he was standing in front of. His sentence trailed off, his face burned red. 

"Excuse me?" Fury demanded, "Care to tell me what the fuck is going on?" 

"Fuck." Bucky muttered under his breath, "When HYDRA was experimenting on me, somehow they managed to give me a functioning uterus. That's the prevailing theory at least. I was not aware of this fact until it started doing its job, carrying a baby. Long story short, Steve got me pregnant."

"We were going to wait until next week to tell everyone." Steve shrugged in humiliation, "We were going to explain everything."

"Thats when I'm going in for an eight week ultrasound." Bucky stared at the ground. 

"Oh my God." Nick sat back in his chair, "Do you two realize that this kid could be the key to the serum? The two greatest super-soldiers in history combine their genetic codes together. This could be it."

They nodded. Even if the thought hadn't occurred to them. 

"Barnes you're staying here. But I will put you on emergency contact. If anything goes wrong, you're in." He compromised, "But if Steve gets the job done, which he probably will, you don't move. I'll send him out with Natasha."

Bucky grabbed the gun sitting in front of him on Fury's desk and pointed it behind him. He locked eyes with Fury (or eye) and shot down two vases. He set the gun back down in front of him. 

"I can still fight." He muttered. He turned and walked out the door. Steve quickly apologized to Nick and hurried after his boyfriend. He grabbed his shoulders gently. 

"I'm not making you stay home because you can't handle yourself in a fighf. You can do that better than I can, probably. I'm making you stay because you are prone to hurting yourself." He lifted Bucky's bruised arm for him to see, "Remember how you got these?" 

"I ran into the door. And hit the cupboard door. And ran into a wall." He muttered. 

"You can't keep yourself from getting hurt when you're at your own house. Imagine what could happen if you were to get shot. If you didn't miscarry, baby would be seriously hurt." Steve explained to him. 

"We need a name other than baby." Bucky couldn't stop a little smile from creeping onto his face. 

"That's what we'll do when I get home. We'll name our blueberry baby." Steve kissed his forehead, "You have to prepare though. While I'm gone, you look out for names."

"Okay."Bucky smiled. Steve carried him back the their room and placed him carefully on the bed. 

"I'm leaving in two hours. Until then, I get to take care of you." Steve kissed his cheek. He gathered up anything Bucky might need while he was gone before climbing back into bed with him and snuggling under his arm, resting his head on his chest. 

"You realize I'm fine don't you?" Bucky laughed. 

"I know. I'm just paranoid." Steve replied. He wrapped his arm around his stomach, only just becoming softer. The layer of muscle slowly turning to fat as their baby grew, "And Clint's always around if you need anything."

"He's probably in the air vents again. He never leaves. I'm pretty sure he has a stash of Girl Scout Cookies up there." Bucky said. 

"Girl Scout Cookies are amazing. They're a lot better than they were with the rations." Steve reminisced. 

He remembered saving up his money to buy a box. He had sat on the couch with Bucky and split up the cookies. By the time they had finished, there was still one solitary cookie left. Steve swiped it up and held it between his teeth. Bucky just shrugged, bent over and took a bite straight from his mouth. Steve blushed all the way down his skinny frame. Bucky giggled and left a light peck on his lips. Their first kiss. Did Bucky still remember that? 

"Thin Mints are the best thing to ever be invented." Bucky said. They sat and talked about nothing until Steve had to go. He brought him a few more things and hurried out the door with a quick kiss on Bucky's nose.

He sat and looked through baby name websites eating potato chips and Nutella, a new favorite snack. Even if Steve scolded him for it. He was only seven weeks along, the baby didn't even have a gender yet, but he had a feeling of a very feminine thing growing inside him. The problem was that it was genetically impossible for him to give birth to anything other than a boy. He'd talked to his doctor, she told him that the baby was getting two sets of XY chromosomes, without a doubt. Boy, it was decided before he'd even gotten pregnant. 

He decided to stick with unisex names, it was easier that way. They could pick a name and it would fit. He scrolled through names and meanings, even if he didn't care about what the name meant. _Avery means elf ruler? How cool is that? Billy is a fucking boy name, dumb website. Dakota's nice._ He thought, he scribbled down names. Within half an hour he had a decent sized list. 

_Dakota_  
_Jordan_  
_Peyton_  
_Skylar_  
_Harley_

So maybe it wasn't so great. But he'd scoured four different websites and hadn't found anything. He'd found that the one's that really struck a chord with him were place names. India, Sydney, Aspen, Carolina, Austin, Israel. He'd have to wait for Steve to get home to pick something out. And they'd probably play with ideas for a while. 

He put his things away and ended up falling asleep. Steve ended up waking him up. He liked his lips and checked to time. 

"Why are you trying to wake me up at 3?" Bucky groaned. 

"Because we found some old HYDRA files." Steve said, "They kept a paper copy of everything. We found some from nearly 20 years ago." 

"Okay cool, you found some dusty old files. Let me sleep." He turned over. 

"Bucky, they're about you." Steve told him. Bucky bolted up, suddenly wide awake.

"What about me?" He asked, panicked. 

"They're medical experimentation files. Apparently giving you a uterus isn't the only surgery they tested out." He explained, sitting across from him on the bed. 

"What else?" He bit the inside of his cheek. 

"Bucky, we should talk about-" 

"What else?" He stared him dead in the eyes. 

"They tried to replace your skeletal system with metal. Later someone else managed to actually do it on another person. Right now the left half of your ribcage, your left foot and all of your right toes are entirely metal." Steve said, "They tried to do more but your uterus surgery was planned and they couldn't get any more done." 

"Is that all?" Bucky wanted to curl into a ball and cry. He was practically a cyborg at this point. 

"No." Steve shook his head, "Apparently adrenaline was giving you panic attacks. Meaning they attempted to shave down your adrenal glands. It worked for a while, but after you recovered, your attacks got worse. And there's a load of other stuff, but you don't need to worry about it." 

"Is it just experiments?" 

"And some stuff about the way you were treated." Steve shrugged, "It's only a fraction of the total record, which is a fraction of what they actually did. But just from reading that, I'm amazed you're functioning as well as you are." 

"I don't remember most of it." He said, "And what I do remember comes in short little bursts, not all at once. It's not as overwhelming." 

"Bucky, they only fed you every other week." Steve pointed out. 

"And they preformed operations without anesthesia." He replied, "I remember them holding my stomach open to out in my uterus." 

"You didn't tell me that." Steve's already somber expression fell. That's when the tears started. Bucky's lip quivered. Steve held his face and kissed his cheekbefore pulled him into a hug. 

"It's just hormones. I'm fine." He said. 

"No you're not. You're not ever fine anymore. You don't cry enough." Steve rubbed circles in his back. Bucky clung to him like his life depended on it. 


	5. Week 8

"So, if all's well, which it sound like it is, then baby's heartbeat is around 150 bpm." She explained as she lathered the jelly over Bucky's stomach again. Steve sat with him and watched as the doctor moved the microphone looking thing around his lower tummy. 

She pointed on her screen to the back blotch with the white bubble near the edge. The white nubs protruded off the bubble. 

"There's your baby." She said. Bucky looked over at Steve who was grinning from ear to ear. She pointed to different gray spots and told them about them, but neither of them were paying attention to anything other than the little white bubble. 

~*~

Steve worked on getting everyone together. They were both buzzing with excitment and a bit of fear, considering their very odd circumstances. Nat and Clint showed up first, Clint very angry at their refusal to tell him anything until the others got there. Nat simply smiled knowingly at the two. Next Tony, Bruce and Rhodey. Sam and Scott came soon after that with Wanda following behind. Vision had stayed behind. Thor was in Asgard. 

"Is this what you've been hiding from me?" Clint demanded. 

"Yeah." Bucky nodded, "We told you that you'd know soon enough."

"What's up Capsicle?" Tony asked, "You look more excited than a kid on Christmas."

"Because I am." He hadn't stopped smiling since he saw his kid for the first time. 

"We have big news is what he's trying to say." Bucky said, "But before we actually tell you, we figured a bit of backstory wouldn't hurt."

"Oh my God!" Clint shouted. 

"Shut up Clint. How did you not figure it out? You practically lived in our ceiling for two weeks." Bucky reminded him. 

"And you almost shot me a couple times."

"I did do that." Bucky proudly admitted, "Anyway, Scott, you're new here, Steve and I have been dating since 1939. Now that that's out of the way-" 

"Wait a second, what?" Scott asked. He was new and was still in the fangirl phase, "You're together?" 

"I just said that. Like two seconds ago." Bucky said, "If that broke your brain then you should probably leave, because our news will make it explode I don't want to clean brain off the walls. I can't even stand the smell of my normal shampoo."

"I'm okay." Scott was very obviously not okay. 

"And everyone here knows that HYDRA liked to preform experiments on their favorite guinea pig, me." He continued, "One of those experiments included giving me a functioning uterus."

The realization dawned on a couple faces. Clint still wasn't one of them.

"And now, Steve and I are having a baby." He smiled, Steve put his arm around Bucky's waist. 

"Are you serious?" Scott shouted. 

"Yes. Why are you yelling?" Bucky asked. 

"Because I just learned that my hero just knocked up a guy! You are a man, Captain, Bucky is a man. And you're pregnant." He exclaimed, "Does no one else think that's weird?"

"Not really." Tony said, "They're more than 95 years old and they're probably stronger than all of us put together."

"But he's-" 

"Bruce, can you calm him down please?" Bucky asked. Bruce smiled at them and dragged Scott out of the room.

"How far are you?" Wanda asked. 

"Eight weeks. We actually just got back from the doctor's. Baby's doing good we've got a steady heartbeat and it got all its little nubs." Bucky told her. Natasha started singing that awful Jeremih song under her breath. Bucky glared at her, making her smile. 

"That is good." She told them. She stood up and left, "I have work to do for the baby."

"Does anyone know what she was talking about?" Bucky asked. Bruce walked back inside. 

"It's probably a Sokovian tradition or something." He shrugged, "Scott's doing better. I gave him some waffles and turned on Friends for him. He'll be fine once he adjusts. Congratulations by the way."

"Thank you." Steve's face must've been cramping up from how big that stupid grin was. 

"You haven't talked much. How're you doing, Steve?" Sam asked. 

"Amazing." He said, "I'm gonna have a little tiny baby that we can take care of and when it wakes up at night we can take turns checking on it and it'll be precious and adorable and we'll play with it and dress it up and carry it around and I'm so happy."

"Wait until it's born. You'll be so tired you won't be able to move." Clint shouted, "And I'm pissed you didn't tell me sooner."

"We know Clint." Bucky sighed. 

"When do you think you'll be showing?" Tony asked. 

"For sure not till second trimester." Bucky answered. 

"And he's a first time mommy so it'll probably take longer."

"I swear to God above if you call me mommy one more time I will punch you." He told Steve. 

"But you're pregnant." He teased. 

"All the more reason to punch you. You're the reason I'm throwing up in the bathroom every ten minutes." He pointed out. After sitting around and answering everyone's questions, and having them all file out, Sam came up to congratulate the pair personally. 

"I'm really happy for you two, you deserve something good." He smiled at them, "Especially after all that shit you went through."

"Thank you we really-" 

Bucky was stuck. He couldn't tell what was real and what wasn't. He couldn't move if he wanted to. He could see Steve worrying, trying to snap him out of it. But he also saw Zola and the scientists. He felt them slicing him open and pulling him apart just to piece him back together. He could feel Steve's hands on his face. 

"Bucky. Buck, come on. You okay?" His voice was like an echo, "I'm really, really sorry about this."

"About what?" Sam's voice echoed through the insults thrown at him. Which voices was he making up?

"Sam make sure he falls towards me. He'll end up hurting himself if he doesn't." Steve echoed. He felt gentle pressure on his shoulder blades. 

"What are you doing, Steve?"

"Apollo." 

The world went black. 

~*~

He was locked in the little room. He didn't like the little room. He tried to tell him that he felt sick. They locked him up. He could hear a word in his head. 

_Steve_

What's a Steve? He felt something move in his belly. Just enough to know he wasn't imagining it. It moved again. He threw up again. They sent one of the doctors to bring him food. He didn't want to eat. At least it was the nice doctor. 

"How do you feel?" The Doctor asked in Russian. 

"Sick." He replied, "I keep throwing up."

"That's pretty normal, considering." He smiled at him, "Eat up what you can. I'll see what I can do about getting you a better room. I think it smells bad in here, you must be dying." 

"They do not listen."

"They'll listen to me. Now do you want a better room to stay in?" The doctor asked. He didn't understand, "Do you think you would feel happier in a different room?" 

"I do not understand."

"Happy, it's when you want to smile and you feel warm inside." The doctor explained, "Do you feel like that here?" 

"I feel warm inside. In my belly." He said. 

"What about in your whole body?" 

"No."

"Then I'll move you to a new room." The nice doctor smiled at him, "Do you think you can try eating?" 

"Not that." He pointed to one of the blobs on the tray, "That one makes me feel sick."

"Okay. Do your best. I know it's not the most appetizing looking thing in the world, but it's good for you." The doctor told him, "Especially when you're eating for two."

~*~

Bucky's mouth felt dry. He tried to sit up, but he was dizzy. He called for Steve, who come running in with a glass of water. He handed it to Bucky and helped him hold the glass right in his limp arms. 

"Steve, the files. I need 'em." He groaned. 

"What are you talking about?" He asked, cradling his face. 

"Eating for two." He reached for nothing. 

"Bucky, calm down. We had to use Armstrong on you. You're recovering." Steve explained. 

"The nice doctor said I was eating for two." He whined. 

"Because you were dreaming." Steve told him. 

"No!" Bucky shouted, "I gotta find 'em."

"What are you looking for?" Steve held him down. 

"Baby." He held up two fingers. 

"Bucky why don't you take a nap and wait for it to wear off." Steve told him, "Then you can try and tell me."

"No." He struggled to prop himself up on his elbows. He would've fallen off the bed if Steve hadn't caught him. 

"Give it a few minutes. I don't know what you're talking about. Can you wait until you can talk in complete sentences?" Steve asked. He placed him back on the bed, "I'm trying really hard to figure out what you're asking me, but I don't know."

"Files." He stated. He couldn't put words with what he wanted to do. 

"The HYDRA files we found?" Steve asked, Bucky nodded, "I'll go get them. But I'm going to have Sam come in and make sure you're okay while I'm gone. I don't want you getting hurt."

He called Sam in, who had apparently stayed the whole time. Which must've been a while, considering how dark it was. Steve left to get the files and left Sam in his place. 

"How're you feeling?" He asked. 

"Baby." He said. He couldn't put it into words. 

"Yeah, you are having a baby. Are you feeling sick? Is that it?" Sam was a lot better at this, Bucky realized. 

"No." Bucky was frantic. Sam wasn't good enough at this. Steve hurried back in, Sam didn't leave, "Baby."

He pointed at the papers in Steve's hands. He flipped them open. He shook his head when he found what he was looking for. 

"This is what you meant wasn't it?" He showed the paper to Bucky, who nodded. 

"What?" Sam asked, trying to read over Steve's shoulder.

"Artificial insemination of the weapon has been successful using DNA acquired from Captain Steven Grant Rogers." He read off to him, "Which means, that if he stayed healthy-" 

"This is your second kid." Sam finished for him. Bucky wasn't aware that it was Steve's baby. Honestly, he was just happy that he got them to figure it out. 

"They've got to be, what, 18? 19?" Steve thought about it, "And they probably don't even know who their parents are. We have to find them."

"Steve, whoever this kid is, I don't think they'll be too keen on learning that their dad is Captain America and you took this long to find them. If they don't shoot you before you get a chance to explain." Sam pointed out, "You have to remember they were raised by HYDRA."

"But I have to find them, Sam." He told him, "I have to."

"Well, I guess I'm helping. It's a dumb idea, but if you really want to go through with it, then I'm right behind you. Bucky's in front telling you how much of an idiot you are while he's murdering anyone who tries to touch you." He said. Bucky couldn't do much so instead he sat and listened. 

They were finding their kid.


	6. 9 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, baby names. I've already gotten a couple votes for names. But if anyone as any ideas (on or off the list of Buck's names) then please let me know. I'm absolute shit at naming anything.

Bucky was stretched over Steve's lap. His boyfriend was digging through everything he could get his hands on that dealt with HYDRA. So far they had only discovered that Bucky had a healthy baby boy via C-section named "Subject B" and that his primary care provider during pregnancy and birth was a Russian by the name of Dr. Alan Orlov. Bucky had recognized him immediately. It was the nice doctor who got him a better room. 

"Yes!" Steve cheered. Bucky stared at him, "He escaped. Apparently only a year ago. He's okay. Pretty screwed in the head but he's okay!" 

"Problem."

"What?"

"If he got out for good, which he did, because they would've added that to the files, then we have no way of tracing him anymore." Bucky pointed out, "Gone, poof. Goodbye."

"Maybe not. We know for sure he's got your DNA. I can't be a hundred percent sure he's my kid. I don't know how they got my DNA or if it was really even mine. But we know he's got your's." He explained. 

"Obviously."

"And we just happen to have the largest database of DNA in the country, possibly even the world. He's probably not in the system, but that doesn't even matter."

"And why is that?"

"Because Stark can scan for it. I'm not sure how it all works, but he can find it. He can find our son." Steve grinned. 

"You two aren't exactly on the best of terms." Bucky reminded him. 

"I know. But he's got to help us." Steve said, "If he doesn't we'll do it the old fashion way."

"Alright, fine. See what he can do. But I want to take a nap." Bucky shrugged. 

~*~

"And we're done. Off to testing." The man smiled at the pair. 

"That's it?" Bucky asked, feeling the inside of his cheek with his tongue. 

"That's it. We'll have it analysised within the hour and after that it's just a case of finding a similar DNA strand. Which could take a few minutes, or a few weeks." He shrugged, "We don't really have a way of telling."

"Thank you anyway. Let us know when you find something." Steve told him. 

"Of course." He said, "And might I ask who you're looking for?" 

"Our kid. When I was the Winter Soldier they experimented on me, a lot. I mean like my foot no longer has bones in it experiments. One of those was combining our DNA together to try and recreate the serum. We're trying to find him." Bucky explained quickly. 

"Well, might I make a suggestion?" The man asked. They both nodded, eager for any kind of help, "If you have a picture of him you could put it in Mr. Stark's facial recognition program. That would give you a quicker result. I can't tell you how much quicker though."

"We haven't been able to find a picture of him yet." Steve said, "But we're trying to. And we will definitely do that as soon as we can."

"I hope you find your son." He told them. Bucky felt the lump in his throat grow, he was barely more than two months along and he was already sick of having a human being inside him. It made him feel like the aliens in the Matrix. 

They quickly headed home. Steve was insistent on Bucky eating extra healthy and more than usual. Not a lot, but enough that he was always full. The first thing Bucky did was reach for a cup to get water. Despite being 5'9, the cabinets were tall enough that he had to stretch himself out to reach the cups. Why were they so high up? He had no idea. 

Steve gasped and stared at his tummy. 

"What?" Bucky asked as he set himself back down. 

"Your stomach isn't flat anymore." Steve grinned, "You've got just a little bit rounder, not enough to notice unless you do what you just did, but it's there."

"Are you sure? I shouldn't be showing until second trimester." Bucky reminded him. 

"It's not really. It's only enough that I managed to just notice." Steve ran up to him and swallowed him up in a hug. 

"Then you really shouldn't be getting so excited." Bucky told him. 

"That's not what I'm excited about, well it kind of is. But I'm excited because it means that this is real. It means that you're my Bucky, and this is my Bucky's baby that I got to help him make. And I'm really, really, really happy that I get to be the person that helps you through this whole rollercoaster." Steve kissed his cheek, grinning.

"Steve, I'm really happy that you're so happy about this, but I have to go throw up." He said much more casually than anyone else would expect. 

"Right." Steve quickly set him down and let him head for the bathroom. It took a few minutes, but soon Bucky was brushing his teeth with the mintiest toothpaste they could find. It was really the only thing that would make him stop salivating so much. But sadly, he still ended up drooling all over himself while they watched TV. He tried chewing gum, but that didn't help at all, if anything, he drooled more. 

He collapsed next to Steve on the couch and fell asleep. Steve carefully adjusted him so they would both be more comfortable. He ran a hand over Bucky's stomach, feeling the softened flesh. He continued to research "Subject B" to try and find some way of knowing where he might go. Assuming the kid was still alive, but Steve wasn't too worried about that. His parents both should have an award for most times it turned out they weren't dead.

Bucky mumbled in his sleep. He was switching between English and Russian while he dreamed. Steve pressed a kiss to his forehead, trying to calm him down. He only reverted back to Russian when he was upset. 

While he slept, Bucky was dreaming of Dr. Orlov. Despite working for the bad guys, he didn't actually look that evil. He looked more like what would happen if Matt Bomer traveled back to the 50s. Bucky now would even go so far as to say he was attractive. And he was the kindest of all the men sent to "care for Bucky". 

"Are you feeling any better today?" He asked, still in Russian, still avoiding English. It was a precaution to keep the weapon from glitching. 

"No." He said. 

"I'm sorry to hear that. Do you like your new room?" He asked, "Does it make you happy?" 

"Yes." He answered. 

"Wonderful." He smiled warmly at him, "How would you like a treat? I feel as if I'm asking a dog to do tricks saying that. But I mean it."

"I don't understand."

"You deserve a reward. I don't like how they treat you. But they'll listen to me a little more now." Orlov said, "And I would like to treat you. Would that make you happy?" 

"Yes." He didn't know what kind of reward was in store, or what it was for, but he new he liked rewards. 

"Good. Now I'm sorry I don't have a lot of options, but I can give you a cookie or some caramel. Which one sounds better?" He asked. 

"I don't know. I don't remember."

"Well how about I give you both to try? That way I know what you like more for the future." He explained. 

"That is good." He nodded. He couldn't remember the last time he was given a choice in anything. It made him feel warm inside his whole body, and he felt like smiling. Was this what Orlov was talking about when he said happy? Is this what it felt like? If it did, why didn't the other's want him to be happy if it felt so wonderful? 

"I'll be right back." He smiled at him and pat his knee. He returned shortly with the promised food. He held them out in front of him and allowed him to choose. 

"They do not let me pick things."

"I know." He looked sadder now, "They don't treat you very well. It's not good. You're a person, you're a human. I think they want you to forget that. You know I'm only working here now because they threatened my home. I don't agree with them."

"They said they would hurt you?" 

"Not me, no. My daughter. And my wife." He replied, "But I'll get out one day. Maybe you'll help me."

"I do not remember how to leave." He shook his head.

~*~

Bucky woke up. He wasn't scared or upset or even angry. The first time he'd had a dream about the Winter Soldier the made him feel, well, okay. Happy even. 

"Morning." Steve smiled at him. 

"It's dark out." Bucky said. 

"It is. Have any dreams?" Steve innocently asked.

"Not anything bad." Bucky replied. He didn't really care if Steve knew, he just didn't feel the need to tell him. 

"That's good. You talk in your sleep, you know." He said, "You were talking in Russian mostly, so I don't know what was going on."

"I was only speaking Russian in my dream, so that makes sense." Bucky shrugged, "I'm going to find some food. I'm starving."

"You ate an entire jar of peanut butter before we left for the doctor." Steve reminded him. 

"I know. And now I'm starving. You forget that I'm growing a human being, and its source of life for the next seven months." He tapped him on the nose and stood up, a little dizzy for a few seconds. Steve came up behind him and hugged his waist while he raided the cupboards.

"I'm happy you're here." Steve told him. 

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked. 

"I had to live without you for so long and now you're back. And it makes me happy that I can finally hold you again." He said. He clutched tightly to his boyfriend. 

"Steve, I've been back for a while now."

"I know." He put his head on his shoulder and kissed his cheek, "I love you, Buck."

"Love you too, Stevie." Bucky smiled. He looked around for his beloved plastic jar of gooey, brown joy. Steve picked up the Nutella and handed it too him, "Thank you."

"You're welcome." He said. They sat back down on the couch and Steve placed his head in the crook of Bucky's neck, "Hey, what if our baby grows up and ends up hating Nutella because you ate so much."

"Then that's not my problem. More for me." He said. This wouldn't be the first time he'd sat with a spoon and ate a jar of Nutella. 

"What if it ends up allergic to hazelnuts? That can happen." Steve told him. 

"It's almost like you're trying to get me to stop eating this." Bucky said, "It's not like it's your fault I have pregnancy cravings or anything."

"Will you shut up about that?" Steve groaned. 

"Not until our kid stops waking up in the middle of the night crying." Bucky admitted. 

"You're an ass."

"Did you just notice?"


	7. 10 Weeks

The nice nurse called them in. Even if Steve was there, he still hadn't let up his teasing flirting with Bucky. They'd been going in more frequently than usual so they could track a male pregnancy better. The doctors really didn't know what they were doing, understandably. 

After the load of questions from the nurse and measuring his height and weight, the Doctor came in. They had alerted her that Bucky had delivered a healthy child before this and she took note. 

"That's probably why you're visibly pregnant so early. Most people don't have a bump at all until second trimester." She explained, "But don't be worried about looking huge, you've only gained three pounds."

"Fantastic, I don't care about being huge. I'm going to be, that's just going to happen. But I do want to know when I should tell the public about it. I'll probably need a lot more explaining time than other people." He told her. 

"It's entirely your choice. But if you want to before you're obviously pregnant, then I suggest around 20 weeks, that's usually when you'll start getting a lot bigger." She told them. 

"Can I ask something?" Steve asked. He normally stayed pretty quiet. The Doctor gestured for him to continue, "Is it possible for us to have a girl?" 

"I don't know. I know that two women can only have a girl, but I honestly can't say." She explained. 

"Well, I know. This is probably the first time you've seen this, none of us know what's going on. But we were thinking about it, and the chromosomes and everything. Can you at least let us know if you think it's possible?" He asked. Steve was very worried about knowing. 

"I don't think so. But you never know. In a few more weeks I can let you know what this particular baby's sex will be, but I can't know for sure." She said, "But, in my professional opinion, I can say that if at all possible, it won't be very likely."

"Okay. Thank you." Steve smiled at her. Bucky wondered if he was okay. Something about the way he sat make him look upset. 

"So far everything has been perfect, and in eight or so weeks we should be able to tell you with more certainty the sex of the baby. I'm going to leave it up to you if you really want to come back in before then." She told them. 

"Unless there's something that I don't think should be happening, I think I'd like to stay at home." He said. He really hated doctors, always has. 

"Fantastic." She said happily, "That should be it for today. Let me know if there's anything you need."

"Of course. Come on, Stevie." He stood up and held his hand put for Steve to grab. They passed the nurse, who playfully winked at him and Steve's grip tightened a little. 

The second they got back, Bucky collapsed on the bed and was unconscious within minutes. Steve smiled at the sight, putting his hands over the small pudge in Bucky's middle and pulling the blankets up to his chin. 

He felt weird not trying to find "Subject B", who he had decided to call Martin for no reason other than that was the first name that came to mind. He'd dug through every single file possible only to turn up empty handed. Instead he watched some documentary he found on Netflix. It had good ratings and it was sort of melting his brain. Was this guy guilty or not guilty. Steve had switched sides at least four times now, and he wasn't even four episodes in. 

After two more episodes, Bucky plopped himself down next to him. He had a bowl of popcorn on his lap and was stuffing his face. 

"What are you watching?"

"I don't even know. But I like it." He didn't pull his eyes away from the screen. Bucky sat with him, not really paying attention, while Steve was borderline drooling from being so invested. Bucky decided to play a game. He grabbed a Sharpie from the coffee table as quietly as he could. He grabbed his hand and started scribbling nonsense all over him. He filled up everything up to his elbow without him noticing. 

_In a hole in the ground, there lived a Hobbit._

_I wrote you 365 letters. I wrote you everyday for a year._

_You're a wizard, Stevie._

_All work no play makes Jack a dull boy._

_He's the hero Gotham deserves, but not the one it needs right now._

_Where's his case? Did he eat it?_

_Honey, you should see me in a crown ;3_

He also managed to fit nearly all the lyrics to Star Spangled Man With a Plan on his arm. He held back a giggle. Netflix asked if he would like to continue watching. Bucky let go of his hand so he could reach for the remote. 

"Bucky, what did you do?" He exclaimed.

"Be careful, I've been working on that for a while now." He grinned. 

"What the hell?"

"I've been writing on you pretty much the whole time. I can't believe you didn't notice." He laughed. 

"What's so funny?" Clint asked, sneaking up behind them. Bucky was starting to tear up from laughing do hard and Steve held up his arm. 

"Look what he did." He pouted. 

"Bucky did that?" Clint grinned. 

"He just noticed too." Bucky cackled. He had fallen backwards on the couch. 

"Really?"

"It's not funny." Steve complained. 

"How'd you even pull that off?" Clint asked. 

"He was so invested in his show that I wanted to see how much I could get away with." Bucky explained. Clint laughed.

"Can you just tell us what you wanted?" Steve asked. 

"Just wishing you guys a Happy Anniversary. I know it's tomorrow, but I promised to take my kids to Disneyland this summer and I'm leaving." He shrugged. 

"Fuck." The both said simultaneously.

"Did you both forget?"

"I guess we got so caught up with the baby that we didn't pay attention." Steve rubbed the back of his head. 

"At least we both forgot." Bucky shrugged. 

"Well, take the day off or something. I don't know." Clint told them, "I gotta finish packing. But I hope you guys do something nice."

~*~

By doing something nice, they decided to take a walk to Bucky's favorite ice cream store. They couldn't do anything too strenuous, but Bucky needed to do something active and they both liked the ice cream. A single reporter with blonde hair and glasses walked up to them. 

"Excuse me, I know you're not keen on reporters, but I was hoping you could answer a few questions." She smiled warmly at him. Steve looked genuinely frightened. 

"Depends." Bucky shrugged, "Are you gonna use what I say as gossip? Or are you going to be a useful reporter."

"I work for an online branch of the Daily Bugle. If you're concerned I'll be happy to send you a drafted copy of the article I'll write." She said. She was wearing too much mascara. 

"That's okay." He proceeded cautiously, "I'll probably read it when it's published anyway, I'm okay as long as you don't put words in my mouth."

"Thank you for your time."

"One thing though, can we sit? I've been tired lately." He technically didn't lie. 

"Of course." She said politely. They sat on a nearby bench. Steve stayed behind Bucky and out of the line of fire, "Do you mind if I record it? It keeps me from having to write everything down and I don't have to memorize it."

"Okay." He was hesitant, but she seemed okay. She turned on a little box and set it down between them.

"So, first off, I heard that your anniversary is sometime this month. How is that going?" She asked. 

"It's today actually. And we both forgot about it until Clint Barton came up to congratulate us." He admitted. 

"You must be pretty busy to both forget a three year anniversary." She gaped. 

"Not exactly busy. But a couple months ago when I yelled at the paparazzi, I did say we had exciting news and we've been pretty preoccupied with that." He explained. 

"I understand if you'd like to keep it private, but would you mind sharing about this big news?" She asked. Steve's hands were around his waist in seconds. 

"Well it's odd, we aren't really sure how it'll go. Fairly happy news might turn into really sad news any moment really. And even if everything goes well it's still weird." He bit his lip. 

"We should tell her, Bucky. People are going to figure it out sooner or later if you don't say it outright. You know that." Steve reminded him. 

"I know. That doesn't mean it's easy to say." He said. 

"Well neither is coming out, but you did that in a breeze." Steve said, "It's your choice, but I say go for it."

"Okay. But I'm giving backstory." He compromised. The reporter shifter her weight as Bucky took a deep breath, "So I'm assuming it pretty common knowledge that I was brainwashed. But during that time, the scientists liked to experiment with me in particular. One of those many experiments happen to be giving me a functioning female reproductive system."

"Is that working well?" She asked. 

"I would hope so, considering I'm pregnant." He shrugged. 

"Oh wow, congratulations." She smiled at them, "How far along are you?" 

"Ten weeks as of yesterday." He told her. 

"That is truly amazing. I understand that you were raised pretty traditionally, are you planning on getting married before the baby comes?" She asked. 

"No. We talked about it and we decided that it was better to put it off." He said. He could feel Steve trying to hide his smile. 

"And Captain Rogers is okay with this whole thing?" She asked. 

"More than happy." Steve grinned, "I get to be a dad when I didn't think I could. And I love babies. I'm really excited."

"That's wonderful. I'm really sorry to end the so abruptly, but I have to go. Thank you for talking with me." She smiled at them again before she left. Steve kissed his cheek. 

"And now let's see how long it takes before we're flooded again." Bucky sighed.


	8. 11 Weeks

"Bucky. Bucky, oh my God." Steve grabbed his arm and pulled gently to get him to lean over and see the computer screen. 

"What is it?" Bucky groaned. 

"I found a picture of him." Steve grinned. 

"Of who?"

"Of Martin."

"Really? Oh my God." He quickly leaned over to see the computer screen. A simple photo that looked very much like a mugshot was bright on the screen. 

Dark hair was cut short to stay out of his sharp face. Intense blue eyes shone through pale skin. It was weird to look at. He was a near perfect blend of his two parent faces. Straight nose and full lips, that obviously came from Steve. But the corners of his mouth still turned up just a little. A trait Bucky had instead. 

"Oh my God." He whispered to himself as a small smile spread across his face, "That's our baby. He's real."

"He is. He's got dark hair." Steve put his arm around his shoulders. He ran his fingers through his hair, almost like he was emphasizing his point.

"And blue eyes." Bucky said. He couldn't believe he existed. He couldn't pull his eyes away. 

"Hold on." Steve's expression fell. 

"What's the matter?" He asked. 

"Medical records." Steve said, "Look."

"Mild tachycardia, type one diabetes, and low blood pressure." Bucky read off. Steve looked like he wanted to cry. Bucky hugged his shoulders and left a kiss on his cheek, "Hey, it's okay."

"No, Buck. It's not okay. It's my fault. I made him sick." Steve looked down at his lap. 

"Hey, now we know that the serum can't take away your old problems. But it doesn't seem to be so intense. We know that this baby," He put a and on his stomach, "Might not be completely perfect in every way. But we weren't really expecting them to. I don't know about you, but I don't want a perfect kid."

"But what if they're really sick and he gets picked on like I was?" Steve asked. 

"Not only will they have two dads, but his dads will be Captain America and a Russian assassin. I don't think bullies will be a problem." He smiled at him, "And if all goes well, they'll have an awesome big brother too."

"I'm still worried." Steve said. 

"So am I. We've never done this before." Bucky told him. Steve hugged his waist. 

"You're getting bigger. Not big enough to actually show anything, but you're bigger." Steve said, rubbing his hands over Bucky's stomach. 

"We never picked out a name." Bucky pointed out. 

"Still have you're list?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded, "If you go get it then we can talk." 

"Okay." Bucky smiled and went to retrieve his notepad he wrote on. He was finally feeling like he was relatively normal again. He still drooled like crazy, and he was still always tired, but beyond that, he felt okay. He handed his short list to Steve, he'd added a name or two to the end of the list.

"Dakota, Jordan, Peyton, Skylar, Harley, Hayden, and Bailey." Steve read off. Bucky sat on his lap, getting an arm around his waist in return. 

"What do you think?" He asked. 

"Not a fan of Bailey. Harley and Hayden are nice. I like Peyton." Steve said, "Which ones did you like?" 

"I liked Dakota and Harley the most." He replied. They sat and discussed name with each other until Bucky started yawning. 

"Tired?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded and snuggled into him. Steve sighed, smiled and picked him up. He set him carefully in bed and pulled the blankets up to his chin before crawling in next to him. 

~*~

Bucky took a deep breath and walked on stage. He was greeted warmly by the host of the show and the applause of the audience. He sat in a big squishy leather chair. He had been asked to show up on a late night talk show, as he expected to be. And he agreed to do it. 

"Hello, welcome. How've you been lately?" The host asked with a grin. 

"Pretty good, all things considered." He replied. 

"Honestly I wasn't even sure if you would come on tonight. I mean, you chewed out those reporters pretty badly a while ago." He said, "What brought that on?" 

"Well I think it was actually a combination of a lot of things. One, I was tired and I wanted ice cream. Two, I had just found out I was having a baby and I wanted some peace with my boyfriend. Three, they're really annoying. They literally just camp outside and wait for us to come out." Bucky explained. 

"No."

"Yeah, it's awful. But they haven't bothered us since." He pointed out. 

"But you really are pregnant?" He asked. 

"I am. And it's just as weird as it sounds." Bucky said. 

"How did that even end up happening?"

"I was kind of an involuntary guinea pig, and I was kind of forced to become intersex. Long story short I have two reproductive systems in my body. And now I'm having a baby." Bucky explained. 

"Now you're about three months along now?" He asked. Bucky nodded, "Well you're almost a third of the way done."

"I'm excited for second trimester. I'm sick of throwing up and being tired all day." He said. 

"So, Steve. How does he feel about this whole thing?"

"He's so excited. He can't wait for December. All he wants to do is hold his baby." Bucky explained. 

"And, sorry if this is off topic, but Steve's sexuality has been subject of much debate. Because he was with Peggy for so long and he got you pregnant." He said. 

"He's bi. A lot of people don't think that's a real thing, but Steve's is a bisexual man." He cleared up, "But I am a gay man. Even if I might have slept around a little in the 30s, I'm still gay."

"Gay people weren't treated very well were they?" He asked. Bucky shook his head. 

"Not in the slightest. You could very easily get arrested or worse if you were though to be gay or bi. Lobotomy was a big one. Hormone treatment was common. Aversion therapy and shock therapy were both really popular. I actually got admitted at one point. Obviously I got out, Steve actually got me out. He was much better at hiding it than I was." 

"Wow, that's awful. That's horrible. Do you mind me asking what happened?" The host asked. 

"Well I'm not going into too much detail, but I will say that I was a lucky one. I just got the aversion conversion deal. I actually slept around so much that they gave me a more relaxed treatment. I could've ended up with a lobotomy. Essentially I got hooked up to an IV with drugs that would make me nauseous to the point where I was throwing up for nearly an hour straight once a week. Then they would set up a projector with what they called homoerotic content. And then they brought in a lovely girl to stand there naked and I had to mastruabate to her."

"That's just awful. I feel like I need to just hug you and make you cookies." Bucky laughed. 

"I'm not rejecting cookies. Especially if there's chocolate involved. My kid must absolutely adore chocolate. But back on subject, people will always ask me how I deal with homophobes and I can't answer them. I really don't feel like there's any homophobes anywhere. Occasionally there'll be people that'll pass me and comment on me being a fag or whatever, but I don't even feel offended. They're not trying to arrest me or making me throw up bile for a month because I refused to eat." He shrugged. He'd been through worse than what anyone could throw at him now. 

"That is absolutely incredible. So do you mind if I cheer everyone up a bit?" He asked. Bucky shook his head, "You said in a recent interview that you both forgot your anniversary."

"Yeah. We had no idea until Clint Barton came inside and congratulated us the day before, as he as leaving town the next day and wanted to tell us in person. He tells us everything in person. He doesn't really get the concept of personal boundaries. He just sort of shows up in our kitchen eating my Pop-Tarts." The audience laughed, "And yes Clint, if you're watching this, I'm still bitter about that."

"Does he regularly sneak into you're house?" The host asked. 

"He doesn't sneak in, he just sort of decides without permission." Bucky nodded. 

"He's not very popular with the fans is he?" 

"No he isn't. He should be. He deserves it. I remember all the Avengers telling me about Ultron and they were all down. They just couldn't fight. Except Clint. Everyone with an advantage was just crippled with anxiety from Wanda, who's actually a really good friend now, and Clint was the only one who managed to get a hit on her. And her brother. And purely out of spite." 

"You don't seem to defend Steve very much. Most people defend their partner with everything they've got. That seems weird."

"I probably should, but I don't. He doesn't need me to defend him. He was fighting off bullies for as long as I can remember, I'm just here to make sure he gets home in time for dinner." Bucky smiled. 

"That's cool that you have those defined roles like that."

"It's always been that way. And what I think is funny is that people seem to get this notion that I'm some kind of bad boy who breaks all the rules and Steve's this delicate snowflake. I'm about 85 percent of his impulse control. If you tell him not to do something that's the best way to get him do to it." Bucky explained. The audience laughed again, "I'm not joking. It's very hard to live with him. He has a problem."

"It seems we are out of time for tonight but please join us after the break. We are playing animal facts together. There's puppies involved, it's great." He waved and said goodbye to Bucky. His phone rang in his pocket. 

"It's Steve, do you mind?" He scratched the back of his head. 

"Not at all."

"Thank you." He answered it quickly and was greeted with a statement that nearly made him drop the phone. 

"We found him." Steve said. 

"What? You mean-"

"Yeah, I do. He's in Colorado right now. Tony agreed to drive us there. We won't get to him until tomorrow, but we won't be able to fly and we figured out that he's staying in his motel until next week. But we need to leave as soon as possible." Steve told him. 

"Oh my God. Pack me a bag and have Tony pick me up here." He told him, "Don't forget about snacks."

"I got to go. We'll drive as long as we can tonight and get the rest of the way tomorrow." Steve told him, "I'll see you in a few minutes."

"Please, for the love of God, hurry." Bucky told him and hung up. 

"What was that?" The host asked him. 

"I need to go. I'm really sorry, but this is kind of super important." He hurried away. 

"Wait, what's going on?" 

"I don't have time to explain right now. But I promise when we get it sorted out I'll come back and explain everything." He said, "But right now I really have to go."


	9. 12 Weeks

Bucky knocked on the door. 

"Who's there." An unfamiliar male voice called out to him. It sounded shaky and scared. 

"It's the pizza man. I'm here for the babysitter. Who the hell do you think it is?" Bucky said. He opened the door to see his baby boy with a gun pointed at Steve, who was sitting on the bed. 

"Bucky, he's kind of freaked out right now." Steve said. 

"Really? I hadn't noticed." Bucky rolled his eyes, "Hey, kid."

"What are you doing here?" He asked. 

"We're here to get you. Or at least check up on you. And would you put that thing away, you're gonna end up shooting some poor bastard in the eye." Bucky said. Martin set down his gun, "Thank you. Now let's sit down and talk okay. Keep the gun as close as you want. I have no intention of hurting you."

"Are you with HYDRA?" He asked. They both shook their heads. 

"Well at one point I was." Bucky said, "But I didn't really have much choice in the matter at the time. And I hated every moment."

"Then who are you?" 

"I assume you used to be with HYDRA?" Bucky asked more than stated. 

"They raised me. I haven't been out long." He said. 

"Did they explain the circumstances with you're birth?" Bucky asked. 

"Not every detail, but enough to know what happened, give or take a date or two." He said, he sounded frightened, he was blinking a lot, Bucky did that when he got scared. 

"Then you know that you don't have a mom." He said. Martin nodded. 

"I have two biological dads." 

"We're your dads." Steve said with a little shrug, "And we would really like it if you came home with us."

"What?" The fear left his eyes to be replaced with confusion, "You want me to leave with you?"

"What he means is that, we've missed out on your life up until now. And we don't want to miss anything else. Whatever makes you comfortable, as long as you're close. You can live with us at the Tower, we've got an extra room and Tony might be able to get you your own floor. We can get you an apartment to move into. Whatever you need." Bucky told him.

"I don't know." He shrugged and began to curl into himself, like Steve did when he was stressed out. 

"Hey, it's okay. You don't have to decide right away. And there isn't a wrong answer." Bucky assured him. 

"But I don't know what I want." He looked at them with pleading eyes. 

"Neither do I most of the time." Bucky spoke gently to him. Steve knew to stay out of the conversation for now. Bucky knew what he was doing. 

"But what if I mess it up?"

"You can't mess it up. But we can talk if you want." He told him. 

"What about?" He asked. 

"Well, let's start with names. I'm James Buchanan Barnes, this is Steven Grant Rogers. You're welcome to call us whatever you like." Bucky told him, "What about you?" 

"I don't have an official name. For the first little bit on the run I called myself Martin." He explained, Bucky snorted. 

"Sorry, I shouldn't have laughed. It's an inside joke. I'll tell you a little later." Bucky said. 

"It's okay." He tried to stop smiling, but he wasn't doing very well, "But I figured that wasn't cutting it. So instead I picked out Adam. From my favorite Bible story that Dr. Orlov would read to me. He was pretty religious, I'm not, but I like the stories."

"Thank God you got Orlov." Bucky said. 

"Why?"

"Because he was the only one in there that seemed to care about me." Bucky said. 

"He was nice. Anyway, I've been going by Adam Underhill now." He said. 

"Is that a Lord of the Ring reference?" Bucky asked. 

"Maybe a little." Adam smiled and Bucky's heart fluttered his love. 

"I feel oddly proud right now. I probably shouldn't, but I do." He grinned.

"Do you have anything to eat? I'm sorry for asking, but I'm feeling a little low on blood sugar." Adam scratched the back of his head. Bucky pulled a bag of peanuts out of his jacket pocket and handed them to him. 

"Bucky, why do you have those? You ate an entire package of oreos, a bag of Doritos, and three apples in the span of an hour and a half." Steve scolded, "You shouldn't be eating that much."

"How about you try to grow a human being without getting a little bit hungry." Bucky snapped back. 

"What?" Adam asked. He looked either very confused or a little bit hopeful. 

"I'm having another baby." Bucky told him, "That's how we actually found out about you. We found some old records, looked deeper into it, and with some time, we found you."

"How, uhm, far along are you." He was starting to look excited now. 

"12 weeks today." Bucky told him. 

"Really?" His excitment only grew, "I'm gonna be a big brother?" 

"In December." Bucky couldn't help but smile.

"Do you have a nursery room set up yet?" Adam asked. 

"Not yet. I've been too sick. But I'm nearly into the second trimester, which means I'll have a lot more energy. So you could help us if you want." Bucky suggested. Adam nodded furiously. Steve tackle hugged him. 

"Stevie, let the kid breathe." Bucky reminded him. Steve blushed but sat back up, "I don't think you remember that you're stronger than pretty much everyone in the world. Except me."

"That's debatable." Steve said. 

"Did you forget about my arm?" Bucky asked sarcastically, "Actually, speaking of my arm, it's being weird again."

He banged on his bicep making Adam's eyes widen.

"Better?"

"A little. I should probably get Tony to check it out." Bucky shrugged. 

"Doesn't that hurt?" He asked. Bucky shook his head and pulled his sleeve off. 

"It's all metal. It actually hurt more when it was bugging out than when I hit it." He said. He let Adam touch it and smiled at his amazement. He seemed like one of those kids that asks a lot of questions that are impossible to answer. 

"That's so cool." He squeaked. Bucky pulled his sleeve back down. 

"How old are you?" Bucky asked, "I don't remember a whole lot about you. Some, but not enough to actually know anything."

"I'm 18. My birthday's in September." He answered.

"What day? Sorry about the questions, but I should know my own son's birthday." Bucky asked. 

"September 12th." He said, "Why isn't he talking?" 

"Because I get excited easily," Steve said, "And I might freak you out. It's better for everyone if I just stay out of the conversation."

"And he knows I'm better at judging situations." Bucky said. 

"That's true. Bucky's like 85 percent of my impulse control." Steve smiled. 

"You know that little voice in your head that tells you that you probably shouldn't do something? Like, oh I don't know, flying a plane into the Atlantic Ocean. Or throwing yourself on a grenade. Or jumping out of a plane without a parachute." Bucky asked him, he could almost feel Steve rolling his eyes. 

"Yeah." Adam asked. 

"Steve doesn't have that. Meaning I get the job of being that little voice in his head." Bucky said, "And that's why I'm talking. I'm starving, we should go out to eat." 

"Okay." Steve said, "Is that okay with Adam?" 

"Yeah it's okay. I have a family now." He smiled. 

"Then let's go." Steve stood up while the other two followed. Adam grabbed Bucky's wrist to hold him back. 

"Do you mind if I ask you something?" Adam asked. Bucky nodded, "Without Steve?" 

"Hey we'll be a minute. Why don't you go find out where Tony ran off to." He called. Steve left. 

"Thank you." He said

"It's not a problem. So what's up?" Bucky sat back down. 

"You said you remembered me." Adam said. 

"Not a lot. And nothing until I got pregnant again. But you have to remember that they fucked me up pretty badly in there. I mean, I'm on three different medications just to function like a normal person." He explained. 

"What do you remember? However little it is, I really don't care. I just would like to know." Adam said. 

"Well I'm remembering more as this baby grows, but right now the first thing I remember about having you is being really sick. I actually got so sick that they had to move me to a new room because of the vomit. The new one was actually a room, and not just walls and a floor. I didn't like eating, because I kept throwing up. But I didn't care, they told me I was having a baby. I can remember the first time I could feel a bump and just smiling." 

Adam smiled. It seemed he just needed confirmation that he was loved. 

"And I remember when you were born. Dr. Orlov came in and demanded I get at least five minutes with my baby. They handed you to me and you were sleeping. You were just so tiny and fragile and I didn't want to touch you with my left arm in case I crushed you. I finally knew what it felt like to be happy." 

"I made you happy?" He grinned to himself, "I've never heard that before."

"You did. You really did. At least until they took you away from me. All I could do was kick and scream. It took six of the guards to hold me down. And I never saw you again, until now anyway." He said. He could feel a lump in his throat growing. He never cried about anything before, now he could to burst into tears at any given moment. 

"Do I still make you happy?" Adam asked, "I mean I know we just really met each other, but I really want to make someone happy." 

"From the moment I saw your picture on Steve's laptop, you made me happy. Before then you were just kind of a story in a way, but seeing you, and seeing that you're my kid, just makes me happy. I can say, without a doubt, that Steve would say exactly the same thing." Bucky told him. Adam swallowed him up in a hug, which he gladly returned. For the very first time, he was hugging his son.


	10. 13-14 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm going with Comic book heights for this because I can. They would be very different if I wasn't. And I'll put all the heights in cm below.

Adam's room still felt distant and not really his. So Bucky decided he needed to decorate. And that's how they ended up picking out paint colors to match a bedspread they found earlier that day. 

"I like this." He picked up a pale green, "But it has a really stupid name."

"Jocular Green." Bucky read off, "I've surprisingly seen dumber."

"They should have awards for the worst paint color name." Adam suggested. 

"They should." He agreed, "Want to pick out some colors for the nursery while we're here?" 

"Okay. So we think it's a boy, right?" Adam asked. 

"Yeah, but I'm trying to stay androgynous. You remember why." Bucky said. For three months he'd felt like he had a little girl, but he was supposed to have a little boy. 

"So yellow?" Adam suggested. 

"Sounds good." Bucky replied. A pair of young, giggling girls walked up to him. 

"Excuse me," One asked, "But are you Bucky Barnes?" 

"I am." He smiled at them. 

"Do you think you could sign this?" She asked, handing him a little black and silver disk with a red star in the middle, with the same pattern as Steve's shield. 

"Of course." He took a pen out of his pocket and asked for her name. 

"Leah." She responded. 

"Pretty name." He told her, "I really don't want to mess up your design, but I think you'd want a signature on the front."

"The back is fine too. But I think a signature would be a really cool edition." She said. 

"Hell yeah it would. And I promise I'm not saying that because I'm stuck up. If I don't point that out, Time will be all over it. They already hate me." He said as he signed the disk. 

"That sucks."

"I've had a lot worse. And right now life's been too good to be upset that a magazine company thinks I've corrupted the Golden Boy of America or whatever." He said. 

"You're having a baby aren't you?" Leah asked. 

"I am. I'm excited." He told her. 

"That's so much fun." She smiled. He handed her disk back and took a picture with them. They thanked him and ran off. 

"Does that happen often?" Adam asked. 

"Increasingly so." He replied and went back to picking out paint colors. 

They found a decent stack of little cards and returned home. Steve swallowed Bucky up in a hug and peppered kisses all over his face. 

"You were gone and I didnt know where you went and you probably died and our baby would be dead and I don't want our baby to die." He babbled.

"Steve, calm down. I'm not dead. Even if we had a close call, I'm still not super pregnant. I can handle myself." He promised. Steve pouted, "We went to pick out paint if you really want to know."

"For what?" Steve asked, following him into the kitchen. 

"For bedrooms. Or did you forget that we have a kid and a quarter?" Bucky asked. 

"I didn't forget, he's standing right there." Steve motioned to Adam, "And you're standing right in front of me, and honestly you're starting to look a little pudgy."

"Gee thanks." Bucky raised an eyebrow. 

"You're also three months pregnant, so you probably should have a little more stomach than usual." Steve reminded him.

"Do you realize that I couldn't care less how big I am. But I do wish I was taller sometimes." He admitted.

"Why? You're a perfectly normal height." Steve told him.

"Yeah, but I'm always around very not normal people who are giant. My boyfriend's 6'2. If that doesn't make you want to be taller I don't know what will." He reminded him.

"I'm hardly a good example." Steve reminded. 

"Thor's 6'6, Tony's 6'1, Clint's 6'3. Even Bruce is an inch taller than me." Bucky complained. 

"You're still not short." Steve told him. 

"How tall are you?" Adam asked. 

"I'm 5'9." He muttered. 

"Really? I'm 5'11." Adam replied. Bucky pouted.

"Hey, Buck, Laura thinks that you should-who the fuck are you?" Clint asked. Adam jumped. 

"That's Clint. You get used to it." Bucky shrugged, "And this is our son, Adam."

"How long was I at Disneyland?" He asked. 

"Adam's our first kid. Bucky's pregnant with our second." Steve explained. Clint nodded, "What's up?" 

"Laura just thinks you should start working on planning a baby shower soon, and she's willing to help with whatever you need." He said. After he left, Steve suggested watching a movie. They texted Nat for suggestions. 

_Depends on what you're watching -N_

_Something cute I guess? -S_

_Finding Nemo is always a good option. Not sure how Bucky will react though. It's pretty emotional and family oriented, might start up the water works -N_

_He says he's down for it. Thanks. - S_

_Anytime Cap ;) -N_

So they gathered together on the couch and played the movie. Bucky didn't see what the big fuss what about. It was just two fish that just got a nice new house to raise a family. But then the barracuda showed up and everything went south. He could feel his eyes starting to water when Marlin picked up his baby Nemo.

By the time it was over, he never ever wanted to see another clownfish again. If he did he'd probably burst into tears. Steve just cradled him and let him ride through his emotions. 

~*~

Steve walked in the door and kissed the top of Bucky's head. He dropped his bag on the unoccupied chair and cuddled up to Bucky. 

"Where's Adam?" He asked. 

"You just missed him, he's shopping with Pepper." He said. Steve pressed his lips to Bucky's neck. 

"So we've got the house to ourselves?" Steve asked. 

"Unless Clint decides he needs something." Bucky smiled. 

"Which means that we can have some fun?" Steve asked, biting his lip. Bucky smirked.

"Hell yeah it does." He laughed. Steve cheered and fell back on the couch. 

"I swear I will win this time." He insisted. 

"Keep telling yourself that." Bucky grabbed a controller. He'd been obsessed with video games since Tony showed him how they worked. They started up the game. The cheerful shouts of Mario filled the room. 

They selected their course and entered the character menu. Bucky picked Bowser as usual and Steve chose Daisy. Then to pick the car. Steve decided on the motorcycle and Bucky used the biggest car he could. His philosophy when it game to this game was that if you had more flames you were better.

That seemed to hold true when Bucky ended up winning at least second place every time. It came down to the last race to know who would be the reigning champion until someone else managed to win. 

Bucky could see the finish line of his last lap. Until, out of nowhere, the infamous blue shell smacked him. Which left Steve free to pass by freely. His jaw dropped open. Second place. He got second place, because his boyfriend, the father of his child, decided to blue shell him. 

"And I thought I loved you." Bucky sighed. Steve was cheering. When he saw Bucky's pouts he rolled his eyes and nuzzled into his neck. He put and hand on Bucky's stomach. 

"I can feel our baby." He muttered, "Right here."

He pressed down lightly on Bucky's lower stomach. He turned off the game and moved them so they were laying down. Steve's chest was pressed up against his back. It only took a few minutes for them to fall asleep. 

~*~

Adam opened the door, his arms full of bags. He smiled to himself when he saw them sleeping on the couch together, and walked into his bedroom. Which was only just beginning to feel like home. He grabbed a blanket out of the closet and covered up his parents. Bucky was always cold and he would usually use Steve to warm him up, but a little extra wouldn't hurt right? 

He didn't have anywhere to put his new clothes yet, so he just left them in their bags. He'd been on the run for a year. Which meant this was the first time in a year that he got new clothes. They'd been meaning to get him a wardrobe and a dresser, but they hadn't been able to yet. 

But Adam didn't blame them. They had a baby on the way, and he just jumped right into their lives. They'd gone out of their way to make him feel comfortable, he couldn't ask for more than that. They were slowly integrating him into the Avengers group. So far he'd met Tony, Pepper, Clint, and Bruce. 

He'd loved them all, even with their flaws. He opened a book up and started reading. He had adored reading since he was little. He had fallen in love with new worlds and being able to create them in his mind. He wasn't allowed a lot of books when he was stuck. Which meant that he was only just beginning Harry Potter. And he felt very much like Harry. 

A boy, locked away by people who didn't love him. Possibly even afraid of him. He suddenly finds freedom and escapes into a brand new world of possibility. Not with many friends, but happier than he ever was. What did that make his dads? James and Lily? He didn't know, and didn't care. 

He'd heard about people who wanted desperately to go to school at Hogwarts. But Adam didn't. As much as he'd love to be a wizard and learn magic, he'd found his Hogwarts. His place of love, and acceptance. A place where he mattered. 

He could finally see why he ended up the way he did. He was a morning person, like Steve. He adored junk food, like Bucky. He could draw. He was polite. He didn't really enjoy talking to people. The only thing he couldn't figure out was why he was so quiet. 

Bucky was usually very loud and bold. Steve, while not physically louder than everyone else, was outspoken and not afraid to speak his mind. Adam preferred not to speak if he could help it. He liked staying in the background and working behind the scenes. 

Guess the mystery wouldn't be solved. Not that he cared much.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Steve- 188 cm  
> Thor- 198 cm  
> Tony- 185 cm  
> Clint- 190 cm  
> Bruce- 178 cm  
> Bucky- 175 cm  
> Adam- 180 cm


	11. 15 Weeks

Adam opened the door with a couple of paint cans in his hands and a grin on his face. Bucky's heart fluttered, it was Steve's grin. This kid just kept amazing him. 

"You look happy." Steve told him. 

"Because when I was buying paint. I started talking to a girl and I got her phone number and we're getting coffee together this weekend." He said. 

"That was fast." Steve said. 

"What did you expect? With the amount of fangirls we have, he was bound to get attention sooner rather than later. And he's the kind of person people draw with cat ears and big eyes. As far as I can tell, that's what girls are into." Bucky shrugged. He was starting to get bigger and bigger by the day, but he also seemed much more energetic.

"You spend too much time on the Internet." Steve told him. 

"I like seeing what our fans are up to. Some of them are very talented. And others are a bit creepy. And there was this thing I found, it didn't have anything to do with us, but it was called the Milk Fic and-"

"Bucky. Shut up before you scar your kid, and me for that matter. I still haven't recovered from the hat thing you read me. Those poor, poor hamsters." Steve shook his head, "Let's go start painting before I start thinking about it again."

"You're no fun." He complained. 

"They ate the hamsters, Bucky. They ate their heads off." Steve reminded him. 

"I know." He said, "But we should probably start painting."

He tied up his hair and worked on getting the paint open. Thankfully he didn't feel like he was going to vomit whenever he smelled anything anymore. It took about an hour to cover the room with a decent coating of pastel yellow. Why yellow? Because it was neutral. It was a bright, happy color that didn't blind you when you walked in the room. And whatever their baby ended up doing or enjoying, it could stay yellow the whole time. Unless he turned into Richmond from The IT Crowd, but that was a small possibility. 

"Bucky, don't forget you have that makeup interveiw to do in two weeks. You skipped out on the other one a couple weeks ago." Steve reminded him. 

"I didn't skip out. I was happily interupted by more pressing matters." He corrected. 

"What happened?" Adam asked. 

"When we went to go get you, Steve may have called during an interveiw and I left halfway through. But I forbid you from feeling bad, I hate interviews and I was much happier getting to meet my son for the first time." He said, "This looks good for now. Let's let this dry and we can do something else."

"How do you know so much about painting?" Adam asked. 

"Steve was tiny at one point, remember. We lived together and I ended up doing most of the housework. I built most of our furniture, cooked, cleaned, Steve did a lot of the decorating because he's got an eye for it. I don't. He can make things look very pretty." He explained. He realized he made it sound like a chore, but in reality he really enjoyed working. He loved making things, even if he wasn't the most creative of people. 

"Can you teach me how to cook?" Adam asked.

"Sure." He didn't even care why, because his little baby boy wanted him to show him something. And he was more than willing to jump on the opportunity.

"Awesome. Maybe not now, because we're working on a relatively large project, but soon." He smiled. 

"Yeah, that sounds great." He couldn't stop the grin from spreading across his face. Then he remembered something. Something very important that he shouldn't have forgotten in the first place. He swore.

"What's the matter?" Adam asked. Bucky pulled him away so that Steve couldn't hear. 

"Steve's birthday is next week and I forgot until two seconds ago. And Nat and I were going to throw him a party this year and now I have a week." He said. He knew Steve wouldn't want anything too huge, but he still couldn't plan a party in a week.

"Well I could help. I don't know Nat, or much about Steve yet, but I'll help with whatever you want me to." He offered, "And I really don't think you should be worried about it. It's not good for you or the baby to be worried."

"I know, but it's hard not to worry." He told him. Most parents don't tell their kids that their struggling, but Bucky saw no reason to keep him in the dark. 

"Why don't you go out with him today? Spur of the moment, get ideas, see what he likes and what he doesn't." Adam suggested. 

"I don't know. I should probably stay home and-"

"There's nothing you need to do here. I'm fine by myself, we can finish painting tomorrow, and the baby wants you to exercise. Go out for a walk." He smiled and pushed him to give in. 

"You're sure you're okay?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes. I'm 18, I lived on my own for a year and did just fine. And if you're really worried, remember I'm not a bad shot, and I can probably come off better in a fight." He told him. 

"You're right. You're just fine." He caved. 

"Go take Papa out for a walk or something." He said. Bucky was a little startled at the new name, but pleasantly so. Adam didn't seem bothered at all, maybe Steve had always been Papa to him. 

"Okay. Fine." He sighed. He wandered back out and found Steve in the kitchen. He hugged Steve's waist from behind and muttered his request into his shoulder. 

"Really? Right now?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded, "Alright. Let me go change my shirt really quick. This one's got paint all over it."

"Okay." He smiled. Truth be told, he really did want to go out with Steve again. But between the baby, paparazzi, lack of energy, and even Adam, as much of a sweetheart as he was, he hadn't had the chance. Luckily he wasn't getting a whole let of press lately. He was pretty sure he'd scared them off.

They left the house hand in hand and ended up wandering around an area outside town, full of little, locally owned shops. Handmade candles and soap, chocolate and ice cream, a children's store, a bakery, a used book store, a shop full of cool stones and fossilized jellyfish and clay pots and dinosaur figurines. Next door to that was a little store that sold TARDIS mugs and Star Wars clocks and tiny music boxes that played Hey Jude, and the whole store always smelled faintly of weed. 

They got stopped a time or two for a selfie and a quick congratulations. They laughed and made fun of little things they found. When they entered the little candle store they started picking up the jars of wax and smelling them. Because what else do you do with candles? Each jar was labeled with a printed sticker on the front and a ribbon around the lid that matched the color of the candle. Every one was different, carefully made to perfection. 

Bucky absolutely hated the gingerbread and honey, which Steve loved. The only one they actually both managed to agree was really good was labeled spiced apples. 

"I'm really happy this place has names that make sense. I'll pick up a candle anywhere else and it's called wishful thinking and hope. What the hell does hope smell like?" Bucky complained.

"That's actually why we try to keep the names simple." One of the employees told him. 

"That's a very good business plan." He said. 

"We try. I'm actually the owner's daughter." She said. 

"Well you're doing a fantastic job." He complimented. 

"Thank you. Hey, you must get this all the time, but are you Bucky Barnes?" She asked. 

"I am." He nodded. 

"Oh my god. That's so awesome. Is it weird that I think it's amazing that you stood up the the paparazzi like that? I know it's kind of old news, but still. It's kind of unforgettable." She smiled. 

"Don't worry. I think it's awesome too. Steve thinks it was rude and unnecessary, but so what?" He shrugged. She laughed. 

"And, I'd really like to thank you for coming out a while back. It actually helped me tell my mom that I'm gay and you helped me gain a lot of confidence with it. But I'm sure you hear that all the time." She shrugged off. 

"Not as much as I'd thought I would to be honest. I get a lot more people saying that I'm so confident and proud. Which is pretty easy for me, because the amount of people trying to throw me in jail because I have a boyfriend is at about zero." He explained. He loved talking to his fans, as few as he had compared to the others. She laughed. 

"If you don't mind, my girlfriend and I are working on our own line of candles based on fictional characters."

"Lead the way, miss." He smiled at her. She lead them to a little section of jars full of scents labeled Dumbledore, Sherlock Holmes, Legolas, Castiel, Cecil Palmer, Captain Kirk and the like. Below each name was a short description of what that scent was. 

Bucky picked up one labeled Levi Akerman. Leather, tea, and Windex. He immediately started laughing. Steve read over his shoulder. 

"I don't get it." Steve said. 

"Because you don't watch it. This is brilliant." He told her. She started laughing right along with him, "Steve, we're buying it. I don't even care what it smells like to be honest, but you labeled it as Windex which means that it's incredible." 

"Thank you. If that's all, I'll come check you out." She offered. He happily accepted and followed her back to the front. He paid for his candle.

She asked if they would sign something for her to hang up in the shop so she could bring that she had celebrities in here. Bucky chuckled a little and agreed. She went to check in the back and found a big paper frame. 

"Why we have this I don't know, but it seems like something we could use, right?" She asked, "It's a bit big, but it'll do."

"Of course it will. Besides, I'm giving you some publicity because I like it here. And that means that you'll start getting more business from famous people." He said. He knew, he'd done it before. They both signed with white frame and handed the pen back to her. 

"You're too sweet." She smiled. 

"I like helping people out. And it doesn't look like you're much of a hit yet." He pointed out. 

"You're awesome."

"Thank you. But we should really get back. We've been gone for more than an hour and Adam's at the house by himself." He stated. Worry flashed across Steve's eyes. 

"Bucky, we gotta go. What if something bad happened to him? We just got him, Bucky. We can't let anything bad happen to him." He started pulling on Bucky's wrist. 

"Stevie calm down. I'm sure he's fine. He can handle himself. If he thinks I should stop worrying, he should you." Bucky told him. 

"Who's Adam? If you don't mind me asking." She leaned forward over the counter in such a way that she'd be showing off her cleavage if she wasn't wearing a scarf over her t-shirt. Why was she wearing a scarf in the middle of June? 

"How good are you at keeping secrets?" He asked. 

"Bucky, no." Steve scolded. 

"Why not? I don't see any problem with letting her know a few weeks before everyone else. He's been locked up for years, Steve, we can't keep him a secret." He picked out. 

"Alright, fine. But she can't tell anyone until we release the information." Steve said. 

"Cross my heart not to tell anyone." She said, putting her hands up in surrender. 

"We have another kid. We just found out about him in the last couple of months. His name's Adam, he's living with us now. He'll be 19 in September." Bucky quickly explained. He felt warm and happy being able to tell someone about Adam. 

"Really, that's so cool." She smiled, "You must be having so much fun being parents."

"We are. And, like I said, we should be getting back home to make sure he's okay." He said. 

"Oh yeah of course." She waved them off. 

"Before I forget, what's your name?" He asked. 

"Ivy." She answered. He thanked her and hurried out of the store with his new candle. He'd fallen in love with the little candle store.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> When I was writing a good deal of the second half, I was almost to the point of crying from a very large, very random wave of Dysphoria at 3am. So I was just writing to distract myself while I was trying to calm down. So it got very fluffy very fast.


	12. 16 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I guess mild spoiler alert for Order of the Phoenix, but if you don't know what goes down in that book/movie, you should probably get caught up with the entire rest of the world.

"So how'd it go?" Bucky asked as he started cutting up potatoes. Adam had just walked in the door from his coffee date. He blushed bright red, "That means you had a good time. What went down?" 

"Oh. Nothing. I mean it's not really a big deal. Really." His face only got darker. 

"Adam, you know you don't have to hide anything right?" He said pouring everything in a big pot. 

"Well, uhm, she may have kissed me." He bit his lip to keep from smiling. 

"Really?" He grinned and set the pot on the stove, "That's awesome! I take it that's your first kiss."

Adam nodded. Bucky chuckled under his breath. He had a feeling he'd get a kiss soon. 

"Unless you count Missy's-" He trailed off, "But that would be silly. Obviously those don't count. Right? I don't want them to count."

"Adam, who's Missy?" Bucky asked. He was sure he had donned what Steve had dubbed his soldier face. Which only really happened when he was angry. 

"Nobody. Just one of the nurses who took care of me." He shrugged. 

"She did something to you. I know she did. Can you tell me what happened without having a breakdown? It's okay if the answer's no." He assured. He had no room to criticize. If Adam didn't want to tell him what happened, then so be it. 

"She told me not to." He looked in his lap. 

"Pierce told me that I needed to kill Steve. The government told Steve not to enlist in the army. You're a part of a whole family of rebels." He told him. He sat down on the barstool next to Adam. He laughed a little. 

"She would do things, with me. I never really wanted her to. I think you can figure out what. I don't like talking about it. It messes with my head." He explained. 

"And it's fine that it does. Everyone here, I can almost guarantee, has something that triggers them. Steve can't be too cold for too long, if I hear a loud, sudden noise I break down, Nat can't go to a ballet, Tony will have a panic attack if you talk about what happened in New York. You learn what they are and you figure out how to deal with them." Bucky told him. He knew that he felt better when someone he looked up to had problems not that different to his own. 

"What do you do?" Adam shifted in his seat. 

"I avoid balloons, and loud places, and anywhere that might have a trigger for me. I keep my face open so I don't feel muzzled in. Beyond that it's just remembering how to breathe right if I have an issue." He explained as plainly as he could. It was more just figuring out what worked and what didn't work. 

"Is that the same for everyone?" Adam tilted his head to the side. 

"Not at all. I think we all avoid triggers, but the similarity stops there. Like Steve, for example, needs someone else to comfort him and be there for him in order to calm down. Normally, I'm that person. But that's only because I know him best." He wanted to show his son comfort. He was still amazed that he even had a son to begin with. A light flutter blossomed in his abdomine. He put a hand in his ever growing belly. 

"Something wrong?"

"No, I don't think so. Just something feels weird." He shrugged. He'd felt it a couple times before, shrugging it off as hunger pains or gas or something. 

"Bad weird?"

"No. Just weird. I think it's okay though. It doest hurt, it just feels a little odd. Like little twitches or something." He hadn't told Steve yet. It wasn't painful, and it was small, so it couldn't be that bad, right? If it started hurting, he'd go in to see the doctor.

"Do you think it's the baby?" Adam questioned. 

"I don't know." He bit his lip. Maybe it was a problem. Maybe he should check it out. 

"What are you making?" 

"Mashed potatoes. They're for Steve's party tonight. You can help make them if you want." He suggested. 

"Okay." He smiled, "Hey, where is Papa. I haven't seen him."

"I managed to get him to go out while I work. He wasn't happy about it. But I did it and that's all that matters." He said. He kept a hand firmly on his stomach, like he was making sure nothing was wrong. 

"You look worried." Adam told him. 

"I'm fine." He said, "It's nothing."

When the potatoes were soft he showed Adam how to mash them up and told him what to add, beyond that he let him take the wheel. And then they started work on a cake. Bucky walked him through the steps and gave him pointers here or there.

After the cake was in the oven they moved to the couch. Adam would ask questions and Bucky would do his best to answer him. The flutters would stop for a while, and start up again every few minutes, but they never got any worse. 

"So how're you liking Harry Potter?" Bucky asked him. He'd loved reading it and hoped that Adam was too.

"I love it. I'm almost halfway done with Order of the Phoenix. I really don't like Umbrige though." He said with a scowl. 

"I don't know if anyone who does. I remember reading it and wanting Voldemort to go to Azkaban, because he's not good, and wanting her to die. If I got a free Arvada Kadavra to use on anybody, it be her. And she only gets more bitchy." He went on.

"Oh god." Adam cringed, "She already carved into Harry's hand."

"Yeah, she gets worse." He said. Adam groaned. The timer on the oven beeped at them and Bucky worked on getting the cake out to cool down. While they waited, they made frosting. Bucky pulled three little brown bottles out of the cupboard and lined them up in front of Adam.

"What are these?" He asked. 

"Well, that one's lemon, this middle one is strawberry, and this one's blueberry. I can't decide which one." He said, "Pick one."

"Shouldn't Steve pick? It's his cake." Adam bit his lip. 

"These are his three favorites and he's not here. Trust me, I bake when I'm upset. Meaning I did a lot of baking when I first moved in." He said. Adam picked up the lemon and handed it the Bucky. He mixed a little bit in and told Adam to taste it. 

"Oh my god. Can I just sit and eat the whole bowl?" He asked.

"When we finish frosting the cake, then we can share." He offered with a smile. Adam grinned, taking another spoonful, "Hey there, I said after we frost the cake."

They quickly accomplished their task and proceeded to sit on the couch with a mixing bowl between them full of the remaining frosting. Steve walked in the door and kissed the top of Bucky's head before giving Adam a quick hug. 

"Why do you have a bowl of frosting?" He asked.

"We were making your cake. Remember, we're having an early birthday party. It's in the fridge, you're not allowed to look." Bucky told him. Steve groaned and collapsed on the couch on the other side of Adam. He turned on the TV. 

"What do we want to watch?" He asked. 

"Whatever's just fine with me, Papa." Adam shrugged. Steve beamed, he hadn't heard the name yet. Bucky let a small smile pass over his lips. Seeing Steve get so excited made him happy. 

"Okay," He didn't seem able to calm himself down, "Any suggestions, Bucky?" 

"No." He shrugged. 

"Mythbusters?" It was Steve's new obsession. He adored the little quirks everyone had, and how they did the dumbest things "for science". It reminded him of the Stark family tree. 

"Go ahead. I've been pretty good today, and you know what to do if I freak out too much." Bucky reminded him. Although he hated it, the failsafe made him feel a lot safer. 

"But I don't like doing that to you."

"But it's there for a reason. It's something that I need, so if you really need to, then do it." Bucky told him. Adam asked what they were talking about, "HYDRA fucked my brain up pretty bad, and because of that, I sometimes glitch. I can't really think of another way to describe it. Anyway, I have a voice activated failsafe that basically just puts me to sleep."

"How do you activate it?" Adam asked, "If it's okay that I ask, I mean. I think it'd be a good thing for me to know, right? In case I need it." 

"You have to say a specific word that I'm not saying out loud because I don't want him to pass out." Steve replied. 

"Well that makes sense." He said. Bucky rolled his eyes and grabbed the Sharpie off the coffee table. Why was it always there? He scribbled out the password on Adam's arm. _Apollo_. 

"Why'd you pick this?" He asked. 

"Because it used to be Sputnik, the first object launched into space. We didn't like how that one worked, so we replaced it. And we used the first spacecraft on the moon." He explained briefly, "Any more questions?" 

Adam shook his head. 

"Cool. Start it up, Stevie." He said. Steve played the episode. Bucky jumped a little at one point, but that's all that happened. He was getting better, it helped that they had a countdown. 

~*~

Five o'clock rolled around, which meant it was time for a birthday party. Adam helped set the table for dinner. Cake would come after, and on his real birthday, they'd climb onto the roof and watch fireworks.

Rhodey arrived first, wearing a deep green shirt. He introduced himself to Adam and quickly sat down at the table. They said that they'd explain when everyone got here. 

Next came Wanda, with her red leather jacket. She was becoming quite attached. She smiled and shook Adam's hand. 

"What accent is that?" He asked her. 

"Sokovian. I was raised there. Steven helped to save my home." She said. Adam complimented her dress in Russian. 

"Not you to." Steve complained, "Now there's four of you."

"What?" He tilted his head. 

"He's pissed off because there's four of us that speak Russian and he can't, and it frustrates him because he can't talk to us." Bucky explained, in English. Adam giggled. He continued to talk with Wanda while she sat down to with Rhodey. Clint and Laura came soon after. Both in blue. Clint introduced his wife to everyone she didn't already know. 

"Did your kids stay at home?" Steve asked. 

"With my sister, yeah." Laura responded, "How's Bucky been?" 

"Better the past few weeks. He's starting to look pregnant now." He nodded, "How was your vacation?" 

"So much fun. Nathaniel got to take pictures with Cinderella, and he was so excited. He absolutely loves her. You should see him walking around singing the songs, it's adorable." She said. Clint sat her down and got her started in a conversation with Wanda. 

"Hey, Steve," Clint called, "I think I saw some of the other guys coming up. Just a heads up."

True to his word, Scott, Maria, Vision, Sharon, and Pepper all came in at once. Scott wore deep purple. Maria in a pretty lavender dress. Vision was in a gray button down shirt, he had taken a liking to looking sophisticated and proper. Sharon had a tan sweater on, and Pepper wore a professional looking, short white dress. 

Sharon bit her lip when she saw Steve. Adam wondered why. Maria shook his hand and smiled at him. She talked with him about everyone and let his nerves ease. It was a great deal of people all at once, and she seemed to understand that it was overwhelming. She knew the very basics of his situation, but not much else. Scott stood in awe of all the heroes around him. 

He saw Adam and his eyes widened. He just stared at him in shock. 

"Oh my god." He whispered to himself. 

"Don't mind him, he's just excited. He's kind of the new guy." Maria told him, "He's harmless."

There was a rapid pounding at the door and when Steve opened it, Tony tripped and fell, making the other three behind him fall on top of him. And then there was a pile of bodies on his doorstep. He helped them up and they hurried inside. Sam and Bruce were both in yellow, NY in green, and Tony in an obnoxious shade of blue. 

Bucky laughed when he saw them. But he helped get everyone seated. 

"I'm sure you've all met Adam by now, if not that's Adam. Scott, you need to stop gawking." Bucky stated, "But I don't think everyone knows who he is. He's our first kid. Our second is still growing, happily and slowly crushing my organs." 

"You have two kids?" Scott asked, shocked. 

"Yes." Bucky said, "Are you going to break again? Do we need to turn Friends on for you?" 

"No, no I'm okay. It's just all this new information is all coming at once, and I'm not really sure how to react." He stared at his lap. 

"Well figure it out, because in a few months, we're gonna have a new baby to take care of." Bucky reminded him. He sat down and let everyone eat. The flutters started up again, and he put a hand on his stomach. 

"You okay, Buck?" Steve whispered, noticing the small gesture. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just some stomach bubbles. Not anything new." He lied, probably, he didn't know. He couldn't have Steve worrying, especially on his birthday.

"Okay, but you better let me know if you think something's wrong." He reminded. 

"Of course." He smiled. Was this what Steve had felt like? Did he so blatantly lie to Bucky as the time because he felt guilty for making him worry? Even when he'd assure him that it was fine if he wanted to sit and take a break for a minute or two. Suddenly their positions were switched. 

They all continued to eat. Multiple conversations were kept up around the table. Bucky, Laura, and Clint were talking about babies. They asked how he was feeling, what he should start expecting, what they should look out for when their baby was born. Wanda and Adam kept up a rapid conversation in Russian while Steve, Sharon, Sam, Natasha, and Bruce tried to calm Scott down and ease him into their new way of life. Tony, Rhodey, and Vision debated suit tech. And Pepper and Maria discussed something new that had been found in Siberia. 

They had finished their food and Adam brought out the cake he'd help make. Natasha made a show of putting on over 95 candles on the cake. Counting each one out and shutting Steve down when he suggested he use his biological age instead because how long ago was 1920, Steve, how long? 

"So have you guys thought about names yet?" Pepper asked, "I know you have a while before you really need a name, but still."

"We have actually." Steve smiled, "So far it's a debate between Hayden and Harley. It's hard because they're really similar to each other." 

"What about a middle name?" Nat asked, shoving her mouth full of more cake. Bucky shook his head. 

"Well, you know Tony's a good name for a boy-" The cocky engineer was interupted by a smack over the head from his girlfriend, "What? I was going to suggest Pepper for a girl."

"If she got a doctorate you could buy her Doctor Pepper." Maria suggested. 

"Are we talking a can or a case or-"

"How about all of Doctor Pepper?" Tony stopped Steve mid-sentence, "I call dibs on the fun uncle that buys them everything."

"You're calling dibs on things?" Bucky asked. His hand hadn't left his stomach. The flutters were much faster and more frequent than before. 

"What would that make me?" Bruce asked, "If I'm part of the family at all."

"Of course you're part of the family." Bucky assured him, "Unless you'd prefer not to be."

"No, no I just didn't know." He smiled a little. 

"You can be the uncle that we use as an emergency babysitter that watches Disney movies and colors pictures with them." Bucky told him. Bruce tried to hide the beaming grin. They continued with their conversation, picking out names, calling dibs on certain titles, Steve looking over with a concerned look on his face.

When the party had ended, everyone filed out and Adam went to bed. Which meant Steve and Bucky were alone together again. Steve was washing dishes, he had insisted despite Bucky telling him he couldn't because it was his birthday. And Bucky was laying on the couch reading a book. In an instant he was somewhere else. 

He was in his new room with Orlov. His hand was on the side of his swollen belly, over the flutters. He was bigger than he was normally.

"Why does it feel like I have birds in my stomach?" He asked, he wasn't allowed to speak English. Orlov chuckled. 

"They are not birds. But it could be a lot of things in there. Maybe you're hungry, maybe you just have gas, but maybe it's your baby." He smiled. Bucky looked down. 

"That's my baby?" He asked. 

"It's a possibility. They are the size of a tomato, or a large mango." He said, "Next week we can find out if it's a boy or girl in there. If you want to, I mean."

"I want to know. I want to know what to call them." He nodded, "How long have they been there?" 

"Nearly 20 weeks. About five months." He explained. He handed Bucky a water bottle, "You're halfway there."

"I'm happy I don't get that awful medicine they give me in the tube. It makes me feel sick." He said. 

"They give it to you so you won't remember who you are. It messes up their business. It's inhumane what they do to you." Orlov scowled, "But now that it's flushed out of your system, I wonder if you remember anything."

"A name." He tilted his head, Orlov shifter closer, "Steve. He has eyes like your's." 

"Blue?" The Doctor asked. He nodded. 

"I think. Is that what it's called?"

"Yes." He smiled warmly. 

"Then his eyes are blue. And you can see all of his bones. And he makes pretty things with his hands." He described. This was unknown territory. He could be hurt if he told anyone this. But this was the nice doctor. He wouldn't hurt him. He wanted him to remember. He was shaken out of his thoughts by a sharp jab from the inside out. He jumped. 

"Did the baby kick?" He asked. He nodded, "Tell me more about Steve. I'd like to know about him."

And Bucky did. Everything that he remembered. How his hair was like the sun and his skin like snow at night. He explained how he'd always get in fights even though he was small. 

"You must've been very close."

"I don't know. I remember that he tasted like the treats you bring me. He tastes happy." He said. 

"He tastes?"

"Yes. At least his mouth does. I don't remember tasting much else." He shrugged, "But I don't think I should've told you that. It was supposed to be a secret. When people found out they put me in a special house and made me throw up. But Steve came and saved me. Is Steve going to save me again?" 

"I don't know. I hope he does. You deserve to be saved." Orlov squeezed his shoulder. The memory melted away, to Steve gripping his shoulder with a concerned look on his face. 

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I'm fine. Just another flashback." He said. 

"Do you think we should put you back on your anxiety pills?" Steve asked, "You haven't had one of those in a while. 

"No, I'm fine. Just remembering things." He smiled, "Happy things. Not awful things. Don't worry."

"Okay. You seem a little off. You want to head to bed?" Steve asked. Bucky nodded, "Okay. You meet me there. Adam asked me to bring him some nuts. His blood sugar's low and he's feeling dizzy."

"Don't take too long." He gave Steve a quick kiss and went to bed.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am putting so much dialogue in these. I'm trying not to, but it's not really working. Let me know if you like the loads of talking or not.
> 
> This also takes place a few years in the future, so that's why Nathaniel is as old as he is. 
> 
> There may or may not be a reference in here, somewhere. If who can find the reference I may or may not be speaking of, you get a virtual cookie.


	13. 17 Weeks

"Hey, Adam." Bucky called. 

"Yes?" He walked up behind him. Steve was buying groceries again. Bucky was eating for about four people and surprisingly not gaining much more weight than he should be. 

"Any input on names?" He asked. Looking behind him. 

"You're asking me?"

"Yeah. You're a part of this family too. Why wouldn't we include you?" Bucky tilted his head, "Anyway, we've narrowed it down to these two."

"Oh, well I really like Harley if they end up being a boy, and Hayden if they're a girl. But I like how you picked names that could swing either way." Adam smiled, "And by the way, when's that interveiw?" 

"Later this afternoon. It's for the same show as before, but I'm not going on TV. They wanted me to be as comfortable as I can be." He told him. 

"Do you mind if I come with?" He shifted his weight a little. 

"Not at all. I hate interviews by myself." He agreed, "Plus, I'm sure the world is begging to know who you are. Apparently Twitter has found a few pictures of us together and is now calling you my boy toy. I find that a little weird, so we're setting the record straight."

"That's kind of creepy." Adam nodded. Bucky was using his stomach as a platform for his bowl full of soup he'd made. He was almost nonstop eating now. His phone rang. Steve. 

"Just calling to remind you that you have a thing on an hour and you should probably start getting ready." Steve told him, "And I have a ton of food now. So you'll be set for a while."

"Awesome." He smiled. He hung up the phone and stood up. He rubbed his lower spine. The baby was getting heavier and putting more strain on his back, "Come on Adam, if you want to come we should start getting ready to go."

"Okay." He wandered into his bedroom. Bucky started changing. He pulled multiple shirts over his head. Nothing fit quite right. They tugged at his middle and stretched. He'd gone through nearly every shirt he had, curse his love for tight fitting clothes, until he gave up. He took one of Steve's t-shirts, thanking the heavens above that he was huge now. 

The pair managed to get out quickly and ended up in the café early. It was quiet and full of paintings by local artists. One caught his eye. It was a painting of a compass pointing at a fork in the road. One side lead down to a foggy area full of dead trees and misty tendrils reaching out. The other was lush and green, but bloody. Bucky looked at the artist name. Someone he recognized. _Steven G. Rogers_. 

"That's a really cool picture. Little disturbing, but cool." Adam walked up behind him. 

"Check out who made it." He tapped the laminated piece of paper in the corner. 

"Papa paints?"

"He's really good at it too. And I bet I could tell you why he made this." Bucky smiled at it. It wasn't a happy thing to look at, but next to nothing Steve made was. He used it as therapy, as a means to get his thoughts out of his head. 

They sat down, Bucky didn't get anything. It was all coffee, and even though it was supposed to be okay in moderation, he really didn't want to take a chance. Adam ordered a cappuccino and sat with him to wait.

The little flutters came back. Like butterflies just under his skin. He placed a hand where he felt them, it always seemed to quiet the odd sensation. Adam looked at his stomach. 

"Have you told Papa about the thing yet?" He asked. Bucky shook his head. 

"No, I think I've got it figured out mostly though. It starts up after I eat a lot of food, and mostly during midday." He shifted in his seat. He saw the reporter. A man this time. He smiled at the pair and sat across from him. 

"Hello, I'm Marcus Chase and I'll be interviewing you if that's okay. I know how you hate reporters." He explained briefly. 

"I hate people who stick their nose where it doesn't belong without reason. And Adam will be joining us today if that's cool." Bucky gestured to his side. 

"This young fellow was actually going to be the subject of our first question. Mind telling us who he is? It's been a subject of debate lately." Marcus crossed his legs. Bucky took note. He always took note of simple body language. It was habit at this point. 

"Adam, want to take the reins on this one. You have a better grasp of what happened to you than I ever will." Bucky suggested. Adam's cheeks turned pink but he nodded. 

"Bucky's my dad. I was raised by HYDRA and escaped, obviously. And about a month ago, Steve and him found me and took me in. And now I have my own room, and clothes that I like wearing, and I haven't had that before and it's nice." Adam grinned. His blue eyes lit up with excitment. 

"So whose the other parent? Sorry, I'm not really sure of the etiquette of the situation." Marcus assured Bucky. 

"I have no fucking idea. All I know is that I'm not mom." He shrugged, "And it's Steve just so you know. Which means we're on baby number two now. Adam's also the reason I had to skip out in the last interveiw I did. Don't know about you, but my kid is much more important to me than talking about how awful life was in the thirties."

"That's understandable. But, speaking of your kids, how's your little one doing?"

"Very well. I'm eating enough to feed an army, I should know I was in the army, but somehow I'm gaining a normal amount of weight. We're finding out next week if we're having a boy or girl." He smiled. He was so excited to know what he'd been carrying around in his belly for four months. It didn't really matter, but he wanted to know. 

"That is so exciting. Any preferences?" He asked. He leaned forward, his back arching. 

"Steve wants a girl, I think. I don't care. As long as I don't give birth to a horse or something." Bucky truly didn't care. As long as his precious baby was happy with their life. 

"What about Adam?"

"I'm just happy to have a family at all. A new baby is just bonus points, and you can't be picky with that." He smiled. It was obvious he was quickly falling in love with his new life. Marcus rested his chin on the heel of his hand. His hand was backwards to show off his wrist. He maintained near constant eye contact. Bucky chalked it down in his head. 

"No, I suppose you can't." He laughed a little and bit his lip. The pieces clicked together Bucky's head. He suppressed the urge to smile, as well as beat the absolute shit out of this kid. 

A glass fell and broke in the kitchen. Bucky felt a tiny little tightening in his abdomine. Only for a split second. 

"I hope they're okay in there." Marcus looked over his shoulder, "Anyway, if you don't mind my asking, how old are you exactly, Adam?" 

"I'll be 19 in just a couple months actually." He told him. 

"September birthday?" Marcus asked. Adam nodded, "Funny. Me too."

"Oh. Well that's cool." He grinned and shrugged. Bucky internally sight at his frighteningly naive son. 

"And I'm just a few years older. I'll be 23." Marcus giggled. Bucky sat in the background. Just letting the scene in front of him unfold. He wondered how long it would take for him to notice. He thought about speaking up, but decided against it. 

When they had finally finished up, Bucky said something. 

"Well he seemed to like you." He said. He examined his reaction carefully. 

"You think so?" Adam tilted his head to the side. 

"Well he was flirting pretty hard the whole time. And in an almost ridiculously feminine way. He also snuck a piece of paper in your pocket. How much do you want to bet it was a phone number?" Bucky continued to walk. 

"He didn't put a piece of-oh." Adam pulled the slip out of the jacket pocket. He unfolded it to reveal a string of numbers with a little note written below it. 

_We should meet up sometime for a personal interview. Call me to set one up? - Marcus P.s. Hope you don't mind a little biological varriation_

"What exactly does that mean?" Adam asked. 

"It means his body is fucked up and he hopes you don't mind because he likes you." Bucky clarified, "Thinking about calling?" 

"Maybe a little." Adam looked at his shoes. 

"Whatever happened to that nice girl you went to coffee with?" Bucky asked. He hadn't heard about her lately. 

"She decided she didn't want to go out anymore. I don't mind really. I didn't think it would last long. But I think we're still friends." He kept walking. His breathing didn't even speed up. 

"Oh. So you're interested in this guy now?" Bucky asked out of curiosity mostly. 

"Is that a problem." Adam scratched the back of his head nervously. 

"Look at who you're talking to. I'm over 100 years old, gay, and a pregnant man. I couldn't care less what your sexuality is. I don't even care if you know what it is." Bucky told him. He didn't even know why he'd be concerned about that. 

"I guess that's true." Adam laughed to himself, "I'm curious to see what's up with his biology that has him so concerned."

"Let me know how it goes. He was shorter than me, which has points in my book." Bucky shrugged. He had at least a three inch advantage on Marcus. He was finally taller than someone. 

"You're not that short, you realize." Adam reminded him. 

"For a normal human, I'm average. But I'm not a normal human. I'm a genetically engineered super assassin whose murdered more people than you've ever met. I'm short for being that." He insisted, "We should hurry home. Steve'll freak out if we don't."

"I'd race you, but I don't think you should run. And I probably should run. Given the fact that my heart already beats at the speed of an average workout warm up." Adam said. 

"How fast does your heart beat exactly?" Bucky asked. He remembered Steve being bad. You could feel the rapid, uneven beat of his weak little heart. Then he got the serum. Now his heart beat even and strong. 

"130 bpm. Give or take." He said with a small shrug. Bucky's jaw dropped. That was faster than he expected. 30 beats faster than what was the high end of normal. 

"That sounds awful."

"I don't notice most of the time. If I get anxious though, I can feel my heartbeat in my fingers." He said. They chatted while they walked. Bucky's back was starting to ache. But soon they got back home. 

"Go call him. Before Steve notices. He won't be okay with the fact that his precious baby is going out on a date." He smiled at him and urged him into his room. Just as he walked into his own room, Steve wrapped his arms around Bucky's ever growing waist. 

"How'd it go?" Steve nuzzled his neck. 

"Pretty good. I think Adam made a new friend." Bucky smiled and kissed him. Steve sat on the bed and pulled Bucky closer. 

"Is this my shirt?" Steve asked, tugging at the hem. 

"None of mine fit anymore." Bucky protested. 

"I think you should take it off." He grabbed his hips and pulled him on his lap. 

"Before we go on, I have to do something. It'll take two seconds." Bucky told him. He carefully climbed off of his lap and locked the door. He quickly returned to straddling his boyfriend, "All done."

Steve hummed and pressed quick kisses to his neck.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Everyone has been trying to figure out the reference. I didn't think it would get that much attention, honestly. Also, I'm sorry I'm taking so long to upload lately. It's getting out to the closing of the year and I'm drowning in stress and sleep deprivation. I do want to get on a more regular schedule though. That way you could expect when new chapters are coming out, and it's not such a surprise.
> 
> Update (because I wrote this chapter over the span of a few days) : Someone has discovered my secret hidden reference, kind of. RikasGrayWolf gets a congratulations from me. Although they have yet to figure how I was referencing Hobbit. This thing in particular wasn't included fully in the movies, however.
> 
> Third and final note (this is getting really long. I wonder how many people actually read this.) How would you guys like a smut scene? I can't guarantee when it'll happen, or if it'll happen at all. But y'all might be able to swing my stance. Also, comment Cocoa Butter if you read all of these end notes.


	14. 18 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So many POV switches in this chapter it's ridiculous. You have been warned.
> 
> зима is zima in the Latin alphabet. Just so you all know.

"Baby might be able to see light now." The Doctor told them. Adam sat in a chair next to Steve, "And they should be able to hear sounds now. Anytime now you should be able to feel moving. The first things you feel will be little flutters like butterflies. It's called quickening. It can start anywhere from 13 to 25 weeks along. Because this is your second baby, I'm going to take a guess and say it'll start earlier rather than later."

"Okay. So when would I feel actual kicks and stuff." Bucky asked. 

"It's hard to say." She said, "But let's start the ultrasound. If you want we could probably tell you the sex."

They both nodded. They followed her into the little, dark room and Bucky lay down. Again he was slathered with goop. The sensation of too cold to too hot happened in an instant and after that, felt normal. She moved the wand around and took all the measurements. She reported numbers to them they didn't care about. When she finished, she moved to a better angle and examined what was on screen. 

"It's hard to see, but if you look right here," she pointed to the screen, "it looks like you're having a boy."

Steve lit up. He grinned and squirmed in his seat. Bucky smiled and tried to resist hugging his own stomach. It wasn't really because he even really wanted a boy. Actually he had been pretty convinced five minutes ago that he was having a girl, even if it was a small chance. It was just the fact that he was learning about his baby. He could picture how his life could turn out now. It was just another little piece that he could put into place. 

A couple minutes later and Bucky was cleaning his protruding stomach. He pulled his (Steve's) shirt back down and the three walked outside. 

"I'm going to have a little brother." Adam smiled and muttered to himself. Steve's phone beeped in his pocket. 

"No." He scowled. 

"What's wrong." Bucky asked. 

"Mission briefing. HYDRA base in Siberia. We drop in in two hours. And no you can't come, Bucky. You're four and a half months pregnant." He scolded. Bucky pouted. 

"But I can help." He insisted. 

"I know you can. But wherever you go you're taking a baby with you. Would you take a baby out on a mission?" Steve asked. Bucky shook his head, "So you'll stay home?"

"Fine. But I'm going to the briefing. That's not debatable." He said. Steve smiled and agreed, "Adam, you fine by yourself for a while?" 

"Actually, I have that thing. Remember?" He said.

"Oh yeah. Let me know how that goes. I take it you didn't tell Steve." Bucky asked. Adam shook his head. 

"Didn't tell me what? What's going on? Is this important?" Steve fired at him. 

"Want me to break the news? He'll freak out either way." He leaned over. 

"Please? He seems to already be freaking out." Adam shrunk back. 

"Because he is. We'll drop you off at home really fast but then we need to head out." Bucky explained to him. Adam nodded. Everything went smoothly, Adam got home safe, he could get ready before he left. As Steve and Bucky drove to the briefing Bucky told him what was going on. 

"So Adam met this guy named Marcus and right now they're going out on a coffee date. Don't worry he's nice, I met him too." Bucky assured. Steve's jaw dropped. 

"But he's just a kid. He can't be going on dates yet. He's only 18." Steve protested. 

"You have no room to speak." Bucky pointed out. 

"What the hell does that mean?" Steve scoffed. 

"You lost your virginity when you were 14. Time skip two years and you were working as a prostitute. Which I'm still pissed about. And we were ready to get married at 20. The kid can go on a date." Bucky pointed out. He couldn't believe that Steve didn't find that important information. 

"Why are you still pissed?" Steve asked defensively. 

"Because I found out how my precious angel Steve was making money by stumbling over him sucking another guy off in the alley behind St. George." He reminded him. 

"It was the Great Depression. Mom was sick. She couldn't work. We had no money. It was either that or starve." Steve defended. 

"You still could have told me." He pouted in his seat. Steve pulled over and unbuckled his seatbelt. He nuzzled his nose in Bucky's neck and held his face gently. He pressed a kiss to his lips. 

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you. I love you, Bucky." Steve hugged him and rubbed his arms, "I love you and I love little Harley."

"I love you too. And I'm kind of sick of this thing being inside me." Bucky gave a little smile and kissed his cheek. 

"Don't call our baby a thing. He's his own little person." Steve rubbed his stomach, "God you look good pregnant."

"Let's see if you're still saying that when I'm bigger than you are." Bucky reminded him. 

"I bet I will." Steve peppered kisses over his neck. 

"No hickeys this time. We have a very professional meeting that we have to go to." Bucky reminded him. Steve hummed into his skin. 

"Just one. I'll make sure you can cover it up." Steve said with a breathy voice, "I want to make you mine."

"Fine. But I have to be able to hide it easily." Bucky agreed. He normally didn't care what people saw, but it might be slightly inappropriate to show up with fresh love bites to a mission briefing. Steve purred with excitment. He pulled down Bucky's sleeve and suckle at his shoulder. He had always liked leaving marks on Bucky. When they were kids Bucky would always show up to school with bruises from wrestling with Steve. As their relationship blossomed, it turned into Bucky having to wear high collared shirts to work in case anyone asked him about the dame that gave his those. 

Steve pulled away with little laps to the new purple mark. Bucky kissed his temple. 

"We should probably go. We'll be late. But when you get back we can continue." Bucky promised with a small kiss. Steve whined, but sat up. 

~*~

"Hi." Adam sat across from Marcus.

"You actually showed up." He grinned, "Most people don't."

"I wasn't sure at first, but Dad pushed me along. Be warned, I don't have much experience with this. I've only actually been on one date, which resulted in my only kiss." Adam scratched the back of his head and shifted in his seat. 

"That's fine with me. I normally don't get past flirting. People don't tend to like me very much." Marcus admitted. 

"Why? You seem like a really great guy. Granted I've only known you for a week, but why wouldn't people like you?" He tilted his head. 

"Well, I'm actually transgender. And boys don't really like it when you have to inject yourself with chemicals just to feel normal." He shrugged awkwardly. 

"I guess you don't have to worry about me then because I have to do the same thing. I'm not trans, but I am diabetic and I do need to take insulin to feel like I can function." He told him. Marcus laughed. 

"You don't care." He smiled. 

"My dad is literally pregnant right now. I am alive right now because a man grew me in his uterus for nine months. I don't have any room to judge you." Adam reminded him. He'd accepted the circumstances a long time ago. 

"I guess that's true." He leaned forward and rested his head on his hands, "So, I take it you're gay."

"What makes you say that?" Adam asked innocently.

"You're on a gay date. You're gay dating. You're gayting." Marcus pointed out, "So it's sort of implied. I'm just asking to make conversation."

"I honestly have no idea. I really like girls, but obviously I'm not opposed to men either." Adam said. He propped his feet up on the piece of wood between the legs of his chair. It was a heavenly gift that that piece of wood existed. 

"I guess it doesn't really matter much anyway. I'm mostly just making conversation." He said, staring into his coffee cup, "I'm a literal reporter and I can't think of a single question to ask you."

"Alaska or Hawaii?" Adam leaned forward. 

"What?"

"Alaska or Hawaii?" He repeated himself. 

"Uhm, I'd say Hawaii but binders are awful in the heat and I kind of ruin the illusion without one on." He bit his lip. He seemed much more self conscious now that he was actually on a date. 

"Isn't there some kind of surgery you can get? I don't know a whole lot about transitioning, but if they can make boobs bigger, shouldn't they be able to make them smaller?" Adam was talking mostly to himself. 

"There is a chest reconstruction surgery that I'm saving up for. Problem is, it costs 10 thousand dollars. And I'm not exactly rolling in money." He shrugged. 

"That sucks." He tilted his head to the side. 

"I'm getting close to having the money I need. I've been saving up since I was a junior in high school. Maybe I'll be able to have a flat chest by next year." He grinned. They continued to chat and ask each other stupid questions. And they ended up really liking each other. The were almost exact opposites, but it made them magnetic. 

~*~

Steve remembered Bucky's very insistent words as he flew over the checkpoint. 

_If you find him, Orlov is not to be harmed. He's too nice of a man to get hurt because of something he didn't want to be involved with in the first place._

Well that and also

_Remember to wear a fucking parachute for once._

Steve ignored the last bit. But he wasn't dead yet, and what's life without a little risk? He wandered silently around the halls of the compound. It was supposedly near empty. Only inhabited by a few select soldiers and doctors. The metal surrounding him was only slightly colder than the Siberian wind outside. 

He caught a glimpse of a familiar face. He sat alone in a corner. His wrists were tied up, but he looked alive. He quietly walked over to the crumpled heap of a man that was Bucky's doctor. 

"Alan Orlov?" Steve asked cautiously. A quiet "da" was all he got in return. As Steve grew closer, Orlov started to spew Russian.

"I'm sorry I don't know Russian beyond just a few little words." He told him. He carefully knelt down and began to untie him.

"I know small English." He was shaking, "Who are you?" 

"My name is Steve Rogers. I'm here to help." He spoke calmly.

"Steve?" His accent was thick and barely understandable, "The soldier telled me of Steve."

"The Winter Soldier?" Steve asked. Despite the horrendous grammar, he could figure out what was being asked. He'd wormed out of worse situations. 

"Winter?" He blinked. He didn't know what that word meant. Steve dug around in his brain for the word to use. Bucky tried teaching him a while ago, but he'd given up and forgotten most of it. 

"зима" He said. He wasn't even sure if he was saying the right word. But Orlov nodded anyway. 

"He telled me of you much. When he was carrying. He had no remembering when he wasn't." He said slowly, like he was trying to find words, "But Steve was small."

"That was me. It's a very long story. I have a friend here who's Russian. She can explain to you." He said. He helped him stand up and slowly helped him out to the safe point. 

"Why help me?" He asked with a cough. 

"The Winter Soldier and I are very close. He remembers you. He wanted me to protect you." Steve told him slowly. He remembered learning French and hating it when people spoke fast and he had to keep up. 

"Protect?" He asked. Another word he didn't know. And this time Steve didn't know the translation. 

"I'm keeping you safe. I'm going to make sure you don't get hurt." He tried to make it work. This was hard to do. 

"He want you to help me?" He asked with a smile. 

"He says you were kind to him. And he's sorry about what happened." Steve said. He didn't know what happened, but that's what Bucky told him to say, so he did. 

"He is a good man." Orlov nodded to himself. Natasha ran up and nearly ripped his head off before Steve calmed her down. He gave a quick explanation, which she seemed to accept. Though she was still hesitant. 

"This is my friend. She can talk to you." He said. He gently pushed her forward, but made sure she stayed in line. He listened to their rapid fire Russian, without understanding much of it. He had to punch some guys out, but they managed to make it outside safely. He gave Orlov some very quick first aid while Nat gave him instructions on how to get ahold of them if need be. 

Their mission had been successful. They returned home safely and mostly unscathed. Orlov was put into custody to ensure that he wasn't a threat which he was okay with. And Steve promised to deliver the news to Bucky.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And RikasGrayWolf (I didn't look at your name as I typed it so I don't have any idea if that's how you spell it) has discovered my little reference that I've hidden in there. 
> 
> In the Hobbit book, in the first chapter, all the dwarves arrive at Bilbo's house in a very specific order and they also wear very specific colors. I used the arrival scene for the guests at Steve's party.


	15. 19 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> As of late, I'm trying to get chapters up every Saturday. I don't know how well I'm going to stick to that schedule, but that's what I'm doing. That way I can update my other story I'm working on (A Walk in the Park) which is also Stucky every Wednesday. I have others that I really need to update, but these are the two I'm focusing on right now. (I say as I begin a new PWP).

Bucky entered the room quietly. Not to be stealthy, but because he felt like it was appropriate. Orlov sat in front of him. He was older and looked tired. His wrists were covered with rope burns that were starting to bleed again. 

"Hey." He said. He switched to Russian, "I see Steve did his job."

"Hello. You rescued me." He said. 

"I didn't. Steve did. I just told him to." Bucky shrugged, he knew he was under surveillance. He tried not to let that affect him. 

"You're having another baby?" He looked at his stomach, now full and round and definitely pregnant. Bucky nodded, "Who is the father?" 

"Steve." Bucky sat on the bench next to him, "He's my boyfriend now. That makes it sound like we had a one night stand and it's a new development. We've been together for three years."

"He makes you happy?" 

"Very happy. And he puts up with me." He shrugged. 

"He said you saved me because I was kind. Is that true?" Orlov asked. 

"Again, I didn't save you, but yes it's true. You treated me like a was a human being with feelings and emotions. You gave me choice." He said. He felt like this was the least he could do for all of the love he'd received. 

"That shouldn't be a reward." He shook his head. 

"Well you did, when no one else would." Bucky reminded him. 

"They never told me your name. They said it wasn't important. What is it?" He asked. 

"James Buchanan Barnes. Call me Bucky." He smiled, "I'm happy to tell you anything you want to know." 

"Subject B?"

"His name is Adam. He's living with us and he has just starting to date this lovely young man named Marcus." Bucky explained. Orlov gave a small chuckle. 

"You're smiling. I never saw you smile." He said. 

"I have a lot to smile about." Bucky said, "But I have a lot to be upset about too."

"You must have some kind of mental issue after all you went through." He looked at his lap. 

"Severe PTSD, chronic depression, GAD, and a panic disorder." He listed off. He really wasn't okay, but he was figuring it out. 

"Have you gotten help?"

"I was on two kinds of medication and therapy, but now I'm only taking the anti-depressants and I'm staying with the therapy. But I'm going less often." He nodded. Orlov grinned. 

"Do you remember much?"

"Some. I remember everybody I killed. Beyond that bits and pieces. I'm getting more and more as time goes on." He said, "I remember quite a bit about you. But that's probably obvious."

"A bit. So, what am I going to do now? I can't go back home. They'll find me again." Alan said. He had a point. 

"Right now, you'll stay here until you are deemed non-threatening. When you're released, we can get you an apartment, you can learn some more English, probably get a job. You can make a life here. We can look for your family. Or not. We can't make you do anything." Bucky shrugged. He didn't know if this guy wanted to stay. They barely knew each other. Who said he wanted Bucky's help in the first place. 

"Can you teach me English?" He asked. 

"If you want. I'm probably not the best teacher, but I can sure try." He said, "Does that sound like a good plan?" 

"Yes, if not for the fact that my wife was killed. I don't even know what happened to my dear Anna." He shook his head. 

"I take it Anna is your daughter. We can find her. Unless she's making a home for herself with penguins in Antarctica, we can find her." Bucky assured him. This man was so warm hearted towards him, it was only right he do the same. He felt his stomach start to growl. He was sick of eating so much. Which was something her never thought he'd say. But seriously. 

"You sound hungry." Orlov said. 

"I am. But I just ate an entire watermelon, six carrots, a big tub of peanuts, a loaf of bread, and basically a whole chicken. And that was just lunch." He groaned. He wasn't even halfway done yet and he wanted this baby out of his body.

"Now that you're out in the world, what do you like doing?" Orlov asked. 

"I mostly just piss off Steve. I hide his shield, I draw on him when he isn't paying attention, I balance things on his head when he's asleep, I pretend to trash talk him in Russian, little things like that." Bucky smiled to himself. He loved messing with him. One he hid pennies around the entire house. It started off normal, a penny on the ground here or there. But it grew. It grew until Steve yelled at him while in the shower because he hid a penny in the bar of soap. Bucky just ended up cackling in his bed for five minutes. 

"You sound like you have a lot of fun together." He laughed. 

"We do." 

"Why doesn't he know Russian? It seems like he would learn it if he has so many Russian friends." Orlov asked with a small tilt to his head. 

"He tried. He likes to say he quit because it was too difficult for him. But really it's because I talk in my sleep. Most nights I have nightmares, and he hated hearing me talking about them. Not that I blame him. I have a hard time listening to him with Wanda's therapy working. I can't imagine what it's like for him to hear me talking about how much I want to die and how I wish someone would kill me already." He said. He knew he was hard to be around, but Steve did well. He did what he could, but even he had limits. 

"That must be hard, for both of you." He put a hand on Bucky's knee. The bell sounded to indicate that his time was up. 

"I have to go. I'll make sure you get out safely. And I promise we'll find Anna." He told him. He stood up, slowly, and walked out of the room. Steve scooped him up in a hug as soon as he could and peppered his face with kisses. 

He had a cut above his eyebrow that was still healing. He nearly needed stitches, but they allowed him to pass because of his quick healing. He had a separated rib that he refused to give rest and several nasty looking bruises. But he'd suffered through worse. 

"Put me down, Steve. Doctor said rest. Picking up your pregnant boyfriend is not rest." He scolded. 

"I've survived this long." Steve pointed out. He still didn't put Bucky down. 

"Doesn't give you the right to disobey a direct order." He said. Steve barked out a laugh. 

"I'm a Captain. You're just a Sargeant. I should be giving you orders." Steve said with a smug little grin. 

"You're such a bitch." Bucky told him, "But really, can you set me down. You're kind of hurting my ribs."

"Sorry." Steve set him back down, "It's just that I've been stuck in the hospital for days now and I haven't seen you. And I miss you when you're gone."

"How did you survive after I fell?" He asked. He felt warm and fuzzy inside knowing that Steve loved him so much. But he'd always known that, maybe it was just the baby making him emotional. 

"I barely did." He gave a half shrug in response. Bucky shook his head. 

"Let's head home. And where's Adam? I haven't seen much of him today." Bucky said. Steve's face was turning pink. 

"He's with Marcus. I think they're coming back to the house later today. He didn't share a lot of detail with me." Steve said. 

"He'll let us know if he wants us to know." Bucky said, "Technically, he's doesn't even have to live with us."

"I guess so. But what if Marcus is bad? Adam seemed really defensive when we asked about him." Steve's expression dropped, "Bucky, what if he's a drug dealer?" 

Bucky cackled. 

"Steve, he's not a drug dealer. If he was, he wouldn't be a reporter and they wouldn't have ever met." Bucky explained, "Trust me. It's tough, but it pays well."

"Why do you know that?" He stopped walking and turned to face him. 

"Because while you were off swallowing head, I was dealing coke." He said. Steve's jaw dropped. 

"Excuse me?" He said, "Do you know what that does to you? You could've been arrested. What if you got hurt?" 

"I wasn't on coke, just giving it to other people. And it was easy to find, I could ramp up the price as high as I wanted, and no one would stop me because they were either high out of their minds or insane from the crash." He told him. In Bucky's eyes, Steve had it worse off. Bucky would weigh little bit, pour it in a bag, hand it to someone and there was 300 bucks in his pocket. Steve had to listen to demands for sex from total strangers and give whatever was asked of him. He had no say in the matter. He got next to no money for a lot of work and stress. 

"But what would've happened if you got in trouble?" Steve insisted. 

"I never got in trouble. I wasn't working under anybody meaning I never owed anyone anything beyond a sandwich or something. Worst problem I had was once this guy pulled a knife on me. He was high as a fucking kite and I just told him I was the last giraffe human left and he let me go." Bucky said. He just went directly to the source. Most of the time they didn't ask for much. It was the Great Depression, people struggled for food. He'd just give the head of delivery a decent meal and a change of clothes and they'd give him whatever. Once the man asked Bucky to ride him, which he denied very rapidly. After which he asked for some chocolate. He left happy with a chocolate bar Bucky smuggled out of the shop. 

"The last giraffe human?"

"I was thinking about how high he was, and giraffes are high, but I'm not tall enough to pass as a giraffe no matter how high you are, so instead I said I was a giraffe human. He bought it." Bucky shrugged. He'd kept Steve and his mother happy and mostly healthy through the tail end of he crisis, "But believe me when I say, Marcus is no drug dealer." 

"He could be a serial killer."

"No he couldn't." 

"What if he's a cannibal?"

"I'm sure he wants to eat up Adam, but not in the way you're thinking." Bucky shook his head and continued walking. Steve looked at him, horrified at what he was suggesting. 

"Bucky." He smacked his shoulder. Bucky giggled to himself. They walked into the living room to find Adam with his hands around Marcus's waist and the others hands on his face. Their lips moved together frantically. It looked like they were trying to absorb each other. 

"Maybe you were right Steve," The pair jumped away from each other, faces bright red, "Maybe Marcus is a cannibal. Sure looked like he was enjoying munching on Adam's lips."

Adam turned even more red, if at all possible. If they were in a cartoon, he'd have smoke coming out his ears. Marcus looked at the ground. Steve glared at Bucky. 

"Was that a necessary joke?"

"Very much so." Bucky responded. Marcus told Adam that he had fun, but he should probably go. He grabbed his jacket from the chair and started walking out. Bucky stopped him. 

"Is there a problem?" Marcus squeaked out. 

"How tall are you?" Bucky asked. 

"5'7." He answered. 

"Then you're good. I'm not the shortest anymore." He told him before letting him leave. Adam stared at his shoes. 

"How's Orlov?" He asked. His voice had raised an octave. He was baiting them with a subject change. 

"He's doing okay, considering. He was asking about you." Bucky said. He took the bait. 

"What'd you tell him about me?" Adam asked. 

"Only the good stuff." He told him. The look on Steve's face made it seem like his heart had just shattered, "You okay?" 

"I'm fine. I'll be back in a minute. Just want to go lay down." He smiled. Bucky glanced at him as he walked. 

"I'm gonna go see if he's okay. Feel free to invite your boyfriend back in. Just remember to wear a condom." He told Adam, who blushed impossibly harder. He opened the bedroom door to find Steve curled into a ball on the bed. He sat next to him and slipped an arm around his shoulders, pulling him closer.

Steve snuggled into him. 

"What's wrong?" Bucky asked. 

"I miss us." Steve nuzzled into his neck. 

"Mind explaining?" He pressed a kiss to his temple. 

"I miss when we were both fine. I miss not worrying about anything but police. I want to go back to that." Steve said. Bucky's shoulder was starting to get wet.

"I do too. But we're here. We have a son who's in love and another on the way. That wouldn't be possible back then. And now you don't have to dress up to kiss me in public." Bucky tried his best to make him feel better, "You want to go for a walk?" 

"Okay. Can I have a kiss to feel better?" Steve looked up with his teary, blue, puppy eyes. Bucky sighed but gave in. He kissed Steve and let him snuggle into his arms as best he could. 

"Harley's in the way." Steve muttered against his lips. He rubbed Bucky's belly through his shirt. 

"Well I can't really fix that."

"I know. I can still complain." Steve said.


	16. 20 Weeks

Bucky was beginning to hate his stomach. It just kept getting in the way of whatever he was trying to do. He was forced into Steve's shirts all the time now and he couldn't wear jeans anymore. He looked down at his belly. 

"You're being very inconvenient, Harley. Do you realize that?" He told his baby. He felt little flutters in response, "Yeah I know this is the easy part. But you better be nicer to me when you're born." 

He picked up his cup from the counter with the intention of filling it back up with water. He felt a sharp little jab on the right side of his awful tummy. He froze. He put a hand carefully over where he felt it. He could feel the baby kicking him. He dropped the glass in his hand. He got a harder punch in response. Steve came running in. 

"What happened? Are you okay? I heard something break." He stepped around the broken glass and held Bucky's arms. He grabbed Steve's hand and placed it over the kicks. When Harley acted up again, Steve jumped a little but was soon grinning and giggling. 

"He can really hear things now too. He freaked out when it broke." Bucky smiled down. He knew that Harley was supposed to hear, but it felt real now. He knew when his own baby was scared now. 

"Can I talk to him?" Steve asked. 

"Uhm, okay. He can't understand you yet." He couldn't stop smiling. Steve nodded. 

"Hi Harley. We still don't know what your full name is gonna be, but I think we have time. You really scared your dad when you kicked him. He dropped his glass on the floor, that was the loud noise you heard. Don't worry, it scared me too. I really hope I didn't mess you up at all. I messed up your big brother. But even if I did, I think you'll be okay. You've got a pair of pretty awesome dads and Iron Man as an uncle. Black Widow is your aunt even, how cool is that? We're a really weird family. It's little, and we're all broken, but it's still good. And remember not to kick your dad too much, he doesn't deserve it."

Steve looked at Bucky and kissed him. Adam walked in the kitchen. 

"I missed something. And I don't know if I want to know what." He looked at the glass on the floor then at his dads who were just breaking apart from their kiss. 

"Harley kicked for the first time and it scared me and I dropped my cup." Bucky gave him the short version. 

"I see. So I'm gonna go to my room and read if you need me." He turned around quickly, like he was hurrying away. 

"Hold up. Turn back around." He ordered him. Adam obeyed, his cheeks were pink. Bucky pulled Adam's shirt collar to the side to reveal a purple bruise over his collarbone. 

"I just uhm-"

"Looks like someone takes after his Papa." Bucky chuckled go himself and pulled his shirt back into place. 

"What are you even talking about?" Steve countered.

"Well let's see, Adam said he was going to the library. I don't see any books with him, but instead a huge hickey. Who else here would lie to his parents to go see his boyfriend and would have to sneak it past his mommy? Not that I'm mommy." Bucky looked over at Steve. 

"She had tuberculosis. I had to go somewhere not to get more sick, and if I told anyone we even shared a bed we would both get arrested. You actually did at one point, or maybe you don't remember how I came and bailed you out of the asylum, in full drag no less." Steve defended. 

"You still came to my apartment and let me do some pretty horrible things to you. Remember that time when I bought you those silk-"

"Bucky! He's still there." Steve told him. 

"Well he can leave if he doesn't want to here about how pretty you looked in-"

"You can't just keep talking. I know exactly what you're talking about though. And if you must know I still have them." Steve said. Adam managed to sneak away to his room. 

"You do?" Bucky asked. 

"Yes. They're beat up, and they obviously don't fit anymore. But I still have them." Steve shrugged. 

"Who knew you could be so dirty. Keeping your 70 year old stockings. We should get you some more, I still think they're sexy as hell. Maybe a garter belt. A pair of heels. We could dress you up all pretty in lingerie. Maybe when the baby is born we can go shopping." Bucky smirked to himself. 

"Oh my god. What am I going to do with you?" Steve shook his head. Bucky chuckled, "How about you go lay down while I clean this up."

"It's my cup, I can clean it up." He shrugged. 

"No. You've lost the ability to bend over and whenever you crouch down you struggle to get back up. I'm here to take care of you, so let me." He rubbed Bucky's arms, "Besides you have a visitor coming over, don't you?"

"Fuck, I forgot. He'll be here soon, won't he?" Bucky bit his lip. 

"Yes, he will. Go wait for him." Steve gently pushed him towards the couch. Bucky sat down and realized how badly his back hurt, and his feet. If this is what he had to look forward to for four more months, he was not excited about it. Clint walked in and actually knocked on the doorway before he came in. 

"How're you doing Bucky?" He asked and walked in quietly. He had a box in his hands wrapped in paper covered with cartoon monkeys and giraffes and elephants and topped with a blue bow. 

"I have a strange thing growing inside me and I'm in pain. But on the plus side, my hair has never looked better." He smiled. His feet were up on the coffee table. 

"Sounds like a blast. Anyway, I just decided to stop by and give you this. I heard you didn't want a baby shower, but I thought you should have this." Clint handed him the present. Bucky ripped the paper apart and picked up the giant box of Pop-Tarts. Big red signs all over it advertised the 36 snacks inside. 

"Oh my god. This is easily the greatest day of my life." He could only stare in awe. 

"I was watching your interview while I was with Laura a while back, and she kind of got after me for taking your Pop-Tarts. So I decided to get this for you, to make it up to you." He explained. 

"You are totally forgiven. Where the hell did you even find this?" Bucky asked. 

"Oh I called a factory and I asked for an Avengers discount. It took a while, but I managed." He said, "And Laura also told me to tell you that vitamin E lotion helps with stretch marks."

"Tell her that's very sweet of her." Bucky giggled to himself. Moms were always so quick to give advice, and most of it was actually pretty decent. 

"I will. Hope the little guy is does alright." Clint smiled and gave Bucky a quick hug before leaving. He was soon replaced by Orlov who was coming for his English lesson. 

"Hello, Bucky." He said in his heavily accented English, "Is baby good?" 

"He's doing very well. His name is Harley." Bucky smiled, "He kicked today."

"May I speak Russian now?" He asked. 

"Da." Bucky gestured for him to sit on the couch next to him, he switched over to Russian, "I still don't know if I'm the best teacher for this. My English is accented, not much, but it's there."

"Where are you from?" 

"Brooklyn. Steve too. He doesn't have the accent though. I think the vocal training balanced it out." He shrugged. He thought about when he first met Steve. His Irish mother taught him Gaelik before English, so he ended up sounding like a leprechaun for the first 12 years of his life. 

"He seems really nice." Orlov sad. 

"He is. Now let's start with basic grammar I guess." He said. They sat together and Bucky would slowly pronounce a word or phrase. He would correct his mistakes and urge him to try again. Orlov was beginning to get frustrated after about an hour. Bucky let him leave and told him to come back tomorrow and try again.

Steve strolled over and wrapped his arms around Bucky's shoulders. He left little kisses on his cheek. Bucky laughed and told him to quit it, he was in the middle of a game. Steve watched the screen of his laptop, where a cartoon worm with stars and stripes like the American flag was moving around and collecting little glowing balls. In little red letters under the worms head was written _steve_. 

"What game is this?" He asked. 

"It's called Slither.io. And I think I'm in eighth place." Bucky started circling around an Irish worm named Jack. It ran into his side and turned into a pile of rainbow glow. 

"Did you name your America worm Steve on purpose?" Steve asked him. 

"Yes I did. And it's all little letters because you're Steve with a big S and my worm is Steve with a little s." He explained. He continued to climb the leader board by killing the other worms on screen, "You want to play when I die?" 

"Sure." He waited patiently for Bucky to screw up and accidentally run into someone. When it finally did, he sat down next to him and took the laptop from him. Bucky showed him how to pick out a worm he liked.

"And when you're done you can name him." Bucky finished his explanation. 

"I want to be a rainbow." He clicked okay and started typing in the little purple box _Princess Unikitty_. Bucky rolled his eyes and watched him squirm around on the screen. He watched another worm zoom across the screen. 

"How do I do that?" Steve asked. Bucky showed him and made him giggle. How did he find someone like this? How in the world did this child of a man manage to love him and kiss him every time he came home? He could feel himself tearing up from just that. He tried as hard as he could to stomp out the emotion, he refused to start crying because his boyfriend went fast in a video game. But his attempts failed as he felt the tears fall down his face. 

Steve glanced over at him and quickly put the laptop to the side when he saw him crying. 

"Everything okay?" He asked, holding his hands. 

"I'm totally fine. My stupid hormones are doing this to me. I'd say I hate them, but Harley needs them to live." He let out a weak laugh. 

"Talk to me. Tell me what's wrong. No one cries for no reason. There's got to be something, I don't care how little it is." Steve smiled at him, speaking gently to him. 

"I was just thinking about how easy you are to excite, and you're such a fucking child, and it's so adorable. And I'm such a bitch about everything and I don't deserve you, but you love me so much. You come inside and give me hugs and kisses and you pay attention to what I need, even when I don't. And I want to do more, but I can't because of this stupid baby that keeps getting in the way of everything." Bucky sobbed. The more he talked, the more he cried. He knew it was stupid to cry, he shouldn't be this upset because Steve giggled. He should bury it away with all the other extreme feelings he's had. Technically that wasn't super healthy, and he knew that, but he always felt so uncomfortable when it got out of hand. He didn't know what to do with his own emotions, so he got rid of them. It had worked for a hundred years so far. 

"Well you're halfway done. Imagine how wonderful it'll be to hold him for the first time. How exciting will it be to get your stitches out and you can start training again. I bet I could beat you finally." Steve assured him. He pulled him into a hug, "It's good that you're crying though. You never cry."

Bucky felt a sharp little jab straight out. Steve looked down at Bucky's swollen belly. 

"Did you just kick me, Harley? I'm trying to make him feel better, and this is the thanks I get? He's upset because of you, you know." Steve told his baby. 

"And you're pushing my intestines where my stomach should be." Bucky added in. Steve laughed again and gave a quick peck to his tummy before leaning I not kiss him. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all my pop tart lovers out there. You can actually purchase (at least in the US) a box of 36 strawberry Pop tarts. And Amazon has a 48 count variety pack. I am so happy I live in this world.


	17. 21 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 90 degrees is around 32 degrees Celsius, Fr any non-Americans out there.

Orlov was able to hold a decent conversation in English now, but still accented. Bucky and Adam went out to shop for baby necessities. As the entered the house, Bucky listened for something to indicate Steve was there. He looked at his phone to see if Steve was going anywhere. Just when his heart was starting to pound with anxiety, he heard a little sniffle. 

"Something's wrong. I'll be back, stay here unless I call you." He told Adam as he walked back to the bedroom. 

He saw Steve, curled into a ball and covered with blankets. The usual neatness that Steve had gained from the military, was gone. The blankets were tangled up with each other around him in such a way that Bucky couldn't possibly tell how many there were. Steve was shaking and crying underneath the bundle. Bucky sat on the bed next to him and pulled him into a hug. 

"It's okay. I'm here, I have you. You're safe." Bucky assured him, "Can you tell me what happened?" 

"The water is cold." His eyes were red.

"Want me to call Tony to check it out? We can go out for a walk while he fixes it, it's a hot day today." Bucky suggested. His guess was that Steve tried showering or something and the plumbing failed, making it so that they had no hot water. 

"I'm scared, Bucky. I don't wanna die." Steve shook his head violently.

"I know, I know. I promise you aren't dying yet. You're a miracle, Stevie. You survived. You're also a total idiot that can't take care of himself. Come on, let's unwrap you so we can go outside. It's more than 90 degrees out today, but you cant go out there with this many blankets." He slowly peeled back the heat barrier that Steve had made himself. Steve clung to his shirt with shaky hands and buried his face in Bucky's chest. He cooed in Steve's ear and continued to calm him down. He continued to get closer to Bucky as the blankets came off. At one point he got a little too close and Harley landed a kick to his stomach. Steve whimpered and let out another sob. Bucky combed his fingers through his hair and kept a hand firmly on his stomach, that always seemed to calm Harley down. Finally, the layers were gone and in its place, a heap of Steve. 

Bucky pulled him up and carefully helped him get dressed. He allowed Steve to clutch to him as they walked outside. As soon as the intense heat of August enveloped him, he started to relax. Steve clung to him, the shaking still not stopped. Bucky noticed a cameraman lurking around the corner and promptly flipped him off, partially because he really hated them and partially because now none of the pictures could be used. 

They simply walked around the block, but when they got back, Steve had mostly recovered. Bucky kissed him and nuzzled into his chest. They both quickly headed inside and sat together on the couch. Adam curled up into a ball next to them both, a huge smile adorning his face.

"You look happy." Steve pointed out, he still needed to take deep, heavy breaths to stay calm, "Any particular reason why?" 

"I now officially have a boyfriend. In the span of two months I went from being terrified of physical contact, to having a boyfriend. Take that Missy." He laughed to himself. 

"Who's Missy?" Steve asked. 

"Oh," Adam shifted in his seat, "Well, she was a caretaker of mine. She liked to come in and make me do things. I couldn't exactly stop her, so it ended up happening a lot."

"Why'd you let her?" Steve insisted. Bucky smacked his shoulder. He knew that he was just being a worried parent but that wasn't the way to go about it. 

"If his experience was anything like mine, he had no say in anything. He could only follow orders. Which means that anyone in command could tell him anything and he would have to do it. When I was in there, I couldn't even choose if I wanted to drink a glass of milk or not. I highly doubt he'd have the option of stopping somebody from hurting him." Bucky reminded him. He felt little kicks hitting the top of his gut. His stomach, which was now being shoved up into his chest, tied itself in knots as his insides were moved around by the tiny smacks. He winced in pain. He could feel his stomach acid rippling like a water glass in Jurassic Park.

"Are you okay?" Steve asked as soon as he saw his expression. 

"Yeah, I'm fine. Harley just decided that he needed to start kicking me in the stomach. Believe it or not, having your stomach juice jiggling around is not a fun feeling." Bucky rubbed the top of his balloon-like belly, trying to calm his baby and stomach at the same time, "Ignoring my stupid pregnancy pains, you have us. We're here for anything you need." 

"You're both so awesome." Adam beamed. 

"Have you told Marcus yet?" Bucky asked. Adam shook his head, "You should. He'll want to know."

"I don't know, he'll probably think I'm joking, just like everyone else." Adam shrugged. 

"If things keep progressing like they are now, you probably won't have a choice." Bucky told him. He wasn't stupid, he knew that things were moving fast. 

"I know." He bit his lip, "And I probably owe him at least that, after everything he told me."

"What he'd tell you, curiosity would like to know. She's a bitch, that one." Bucky asked. Adam shook his head. 

"Not my place to say. How about we say, life hasn't been too kind to him, and leave it at that." Adam looked up at his dad. Bucky covered his mouth with the back of his hand to keep from gagging and looked down at his round belly. 

"Would you quit kicking me in the fucking stomach, Harley? You're going to make me throw up, and you've already made me throw up for three months. I'm not appreciative." He scolded his own gut, "Now if you're done, I'd like to have a conversation with your brother."

"Everything okay?" Steve nuzzled against him. 

"Yep, just dandy. You're baby just keeps kicking me in the worst possible places." He snapped back. Adam giggled at the pair.

~*~

Later that night, Steve and Bucky were curled up next to each other in bed. The most comfortable position Bucky could lay in, was on his side. Steve rubbed circles into the base of his spine. 

"You're changing a lot." Steve muttered next to him. 

"What do you mean?" Bucky asked. 

"Physically, you've been changing." Steve told him, "And I don't mean your belly either, so don't get snarky. Your skin is so soft and your hair is thicker. And you have more fat in your cheeks."

"Really?" Bucky asked him, feeling the urge to rub his arms and see if Steve was right. 

"And you smell different." Steve nuzzled his nose in his neck. 

"And is this good or bad?" He felt his heart pumping a little harder. He was so much more self-conscious now, bordering insecure. He hadn't felt like that since high school. 

"Not really either. It's just different. It's like you're a big teddy bear that I need to hold and snuggle with. Before it was more like you were one of those sexy, troubled, bitchy anime characters that everyone wants to sleep with. Neither one is better than the other, it's just different." Steve kissed his shoulder and put an arm around his chest to pull him in closer. Bucky smiled to himself and let himself be absorbed into Steve's embrace. 

He could feel Steve sucking on his shoulder blade. He tilted his head a little so that his boyfriend had easier access. Steve whispered something into his skin. Bucky turned his head so he could hear him. 

"What was that Stevie?" He questioned. 

"Please marry me. Please, Bucky. I love you so much." Steve begged him. 

"I love you too, but we can't get married." He shook his head. 

"Why not?" Steve pouted. 

"Because we have a baby to take care of. I can't plan a wedding while I have a baby growing inside me like the chest monsters in _Alien_. I will happily marry you and ride of into the sunset on a white horse to our happily ever after, but not now." He promised. He wanted Steve to know he really did love him, but why he refused to marry him now.

"We don't have to have the wedding anytime soon. I'd be happy with just being engaged for three years, I don't even care if it's secret. I just want you to be mine forever." He peppered kisses all down his back and neck. Bucky sighed. 

"If you're sure that you're okay waiting, then I'm all for it." He said. 

"You'll marry me?" Steve's jaw dropped and his lips curled into a smile. 

"Yeah" He nodded. Steve pulled him in closer, silently giggling to keep Adam from waking up. 

"I'll buy us rings, I promise. I'll be the best husband ever. I'll make sure you have the best wedding. I know you've always dreamed about it, and we might have to make some changes to your plan because you made it 70 years ago, but I will make it happen as closely as possible. You won't even have to worry about anything. I'll take care of the baby, and you can rest. You've been working so hard these past few months, and you deserve a break. So when Harley's born, you only have to do the bare minimum. I can handle everything." Steve babbled in his ear. He was a ball of excitment and energy that really shouldn't exist this late at night. 

"Calm down, Stevie. It's awesome that you want to do so much to help me, but even a genetically modified super-soldier can't handle all that." Bucky explained. He jumped a little when he got a little kick from his baby. Steve felt it and rubbed his tummy. 

"You're really a pest, aren't you? You're doing such awful things to your daddy and he doesn't even complain. Start kicking him more so I can take care of him. He won't let me otherwise." Steve told his big belly. Bucky smacked him. 

"I don't need taken care of." He snapped back. 

"I want to take care of you though. And you should let me, because I'm your not-husband and I want to love you and spoil you and carry you everywhere like a princess because you're my princess and you're so pretty and I love you use much. You're going to get everything your heart desires." Steve curled around him. Bucky relaxed at the feeling, letting his scent surround him. And suddenly he realized why Steve loved to be little spoon. He felt safe and warm and loved. He never wanted to leave again. And enveloped in the smell of clean clothes and Steve's musk, he fell asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually uploaded on Saturday! What is this? I feel great. You should all be very proud of me. 
> 
> Something else that I really want to do, because it's a really cool thing, is #ProudToBe. I know it's a YouTube thing, but I think it's a cool idea, especially what's been going on lately in the LGBT+ community. 
> 
> I am proud to be a gay, asexual, trans boy. And after struggling through so much shit with my own mental health, and still struggling actually, I have finally gotten to a point where I feel like I can say I'm proud of myself. I am so grateful for everyone who has left a positive comment, or a kudos, or bookmarked anything I've written. I love each and everyone who's sat through my absolute garbage to read this. And to all, have a beautiful and wonderful day.


	18. 22 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First things first, I'm sorry I haven't been active for a while. That was not intentional, I promise. Basically, I've been at my dad's a lot and he doesn't have good internet and I haven't been able to write much as is. That and I am working on starting a new story so I've been putting a lot into that. 
> 
> And, I'm beginning to run out of ideas for things to put in here. I do have a few for later on in the story, but not much for now. Meaning that if there's anything you would like to see, then please let me know. 
> 
> Today's chapter was centered around [this](http://awesomewritingprompts.tumblr.com/post/127711586998/writing-prompt-676-do-as-i-say) prompt. Which is on Tumblr, so I now have the perfect opportunity for some shameless self-promotion. You should all follow me, I'm peterpeterpumpkineater4. And I don't really feel like making another hyperlink, so I'm making everyone else's life more difficult.
> 
> And the final thing, I couldn't find anything that said what drugs were used in the 30s/40s for the therapy stuff. But I did find out that apomorphine (same thing that's used to treat Parkinson's) was used sometimes in the 60s. So I went with that one, as that was the earliest thing I could find.

Bucky had found recently that sleeping was one of his favorite activities. With the nursery finished and having a solid way of telling how the baby's doing, he didn't have a lot else to do. Besides, it was getting more and more difficult to stand up every day. Why struggle to get out of bed if you were going to be back in an hour anyway. The only other thing he really enjoyed doing, was eating. He regularly stuffed his face with anything and everything he could find until his stomach had expanded so much that it started pushing on his lungs and made it harder to breathe. The only issue he had with sleeping all day, was how he would always dream. His dreams were memories, not things his brain made up as it sorted through his day. And they were always memories from before that fateful day dragging such a precious body from the water, not even knowing if it was too late. 

He felt like he was in that silly Pixar movie with Bing Bong, the cotton candy-cat-elephant-dolphin that made him sob for a good hour. Whenever he woke back up he felt angery, disgusted, afraid, sad or some combination of happy and sad. But his dreams never made him just happy and happy alone. And today was no exception. 

He dreamt about cake. 

A special cake. A cake that Bucky would make for Steve every chance he got. Sunshine cake. Easy to make, but time consuming. But this particular cake was made by Steve for Bucky. It wasn't fantastic, but it was perfect. He could picture Steve still wearing the wig that he was still pulling pins out of. His lips were dark and looked almost redrawn. His face was covered with powder that made it look softer and rounder. His nails were painted a rich shade of red. The scarf that was draped over his head and shoulders only moments ago was now pulled down around his neck. He had on a pair of old stockings and black leather shoes. Still in his lovely dress that fit snug over his body that he'd pulled together and stuffed up to look more correct.

Bucky's stomach still felt knotted up. His blood burned in his veins like he was toxic. He had been in that horrible place for 26 days. Not even a month, but he could feel his own bones. Steve gave him a gentle kiss on his cheek and went to take his makeup off. Bucky was breaking. He had a thick skin, but even the toughest walls can crumble. 

He had heard most of the conversation from his usual hiding spot near the office door. He went there whenever he wasn't talking to his few friends he had. Betty had schizophrenia and was getting a lobotomy. Jamie had autism. He liked to color pictures with Bucky and his favorite color was purple. Allison was diagnosed with nymphomania, she had a crush on the boy with psychosis that like to read by himself in the corner.

He listened to Steve with his false voice he would use. He had introduced himself as Sarah Rogers, a good choice. Sarah was a real person so it would check out if they decided to look her up. Of course that real person was dead, but they could cross that bridge when they got to it. The warden hadn't even hesitated in his conversation with "Sarah" about Bucky.

"I find it perfectly appalling that one might even consider the possibility that he's one of those disgusting people, and quite offending too. To say that he may be a homosexual is insulting to me as a lady." Steve insisted. He could be a fantastic actor if he wanted to be. If you didn't know his ticks it was hard to tell that he wasn't telling the truth. The most talented part was that he made himself seem like a terrible liar so he could get away with it easier. 

"Ma'am I'm sure this is difficult for you to understand, but James has been accused of having multiple sexual encounters with men. We can't risk someone having such a horrific disease roaming our streets. But if it's any consolation, we have given him a more relaxed treatment that usual." The warden assured him. 

"When could he possibly have left? The only time he ever leaves the house without me is to go to work. And he always is home before 4." Steve insisted. 

"Well it's possible that he could leave while you sleep." He suggested.

"Oh no. I have troubles with my breathing and heartbeat and it ends up waking me up just about every night. He's always there with me. It's impossible that he could know when I'll wake up or not, he wouldn't risk leaving." Steve brought up, "Please let me take him home. I'm lost without him. I can barely cook myself a meal without his help. I don't know what to do."

He sniffled. No doubt he was dabbing at his eyes with his handkerchief. He apologized for possibly smearing his makeup and Bucky heard someone stand and take a few steps. 

"Don't cry, miss. I'm sure we can work something out." The warden spoke softly to her. 

"I know he's a bit of a skirt chaser, but he's good to me. Besides, I love him." He explained. Bucky buried his head in his knees and smiled, feeling butterflies blossom in his stomach. And then a sharp pain.

He woke up to feel the baby kicking him. He struggled a little to stand, but as soon as he did he searched for Steve. He was leaning on the counter, just hanging up the phone. Bucky wrapped his arms around Steve's waist. His cheek pressed against his back. Steve turned around hugged him, pressing kisses into his hair. He picked him up and carried him to the couch. He put his hands on Bucky's belly to calm Harley down a little. 

"What did you dream about?"

"Sunshine cake." Bucky answered. Steve curled around him and peppered kisses down his neck. 

"I'm sorry. Do you still remember Allison? She's still around." Steve told him. Bucky nodded, "Want to go visit sometime?" 

He nodded.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sunshine cake was an actual cake in the 1930s. Again, don't really feel like making a hyperlink, so you get a boring link instead. 
> 
> http://www.cooks.com/recipe/eb30t9tb/sunshine-cake.html
> 
> Sorry it's so short.


	19. 23 Weeks

"I have a surprise for you Bucky." Steve beamed. 

"Is this gonna be a repeat of the incident with the sheep?" Bucky asked. Steve shivered a little. 

"We don't speak of the sheep. We discussed this. And it's something I think you'll actually like." He defended. 

"Shoot." Bucky shrugged. 

"Remember how you always wanted to see the Grand Canyon?" He asked. Bucky nodded, "Well I planned a trip for us to go. We're leaving tomorrow."

"What?" 

"We're taking a road trip to the Grand Canyon. Adam is coming and he's taking Marcus with us. And if you're worried about them taking up all our time, I got us separate rooms and I planned an entire day just for us. And I talked with Fury and he said we could go as long as we're safe. And your doctor gave us the okay to take a vacation if you call her and let her know if anything out of the ordinary happens. Tony has staff on standby in case something happens. I've taken care of everything for you and you don't have to worry about anything except staying relaxed and happy." Steve told him happily. Bucky's jaw dropped. 

"You got all my pills?" Bucky asked. 

"And refills."

"All the laundry?"

"Finished this morning."

"What about packing?"

"We're just waiting for you. I would've done it for you, but you're getting a lot pickier with the baby around." Steve kissed his cheek. 

"Youre insane." Bucky told him. 

"But you are okay with it? I went after the accident, because I didn't really know what to do. I hope that's okay." Steve nudged him. 

"Of course that's okay." Bucky hugged him and discussed details. He stood up to go pack, but Steve refused to let him do it. He had Bucky pick out what to bring, but nothing more strenuous than that. He was not to lift a finger on this trip. 

~*~

Bucky wore a gray Under Armour shirt that was technically Steve's, but had since been stolen by Bucky. Steve had a Bette Davis _Cabin in the Cotton_ shirt. It was one of Steve's favorite movies from when he was a kid. When he found out they had shirts based on the movie, he started cheering like a little kid and begged Bucky to let him buy it. Adam walked back to the car with Marcus and sat with him in the backseat. 

"I like your shirt, Steve. I didn't take you for a Davis fan." Marcus smiled. Steve thanked him, "Did you like Vivien Leigh at all?" 

"It was impossible not to. _Gone With the Wind_ was amazing. It was the second movie I watched that was entirely in color, first to be live action." Steve said, "Wizard of Oz almost counts. That was easily the most impressive. She walked into a world of color. It felt like watching magic."

"I remember that." Bucky chuckled, "You were so excited that there was really a yellow brick road. And I think you almost had a heart attack because you thought the witch's green skin was so cool."

"It was cool. Even you were impressed. But you were afraid of the monkeys." Steve teased. 

"Steve. How could you not be? They killed him. They ripped out his straw and they killed him. He was dead, Steve." He reminded as they started on their journey. 

"Bucky, you can't kill a scarecrow. He was fine." Steve told him. 

"They still ripped out his scarecrow organs." Bucky told him. Steve rolled his eyes, "Don't give me that. You basically are the Scarecrow. You were never given a brain, were you?"

"If I'm the Scarecrow, you're the Tin Man." Steve explained. 

"What, heartless?" He asked. 

"No. The opposite." Steve told him. Bucky blushed and looked down at his growing belly. After just a couple hours, both Marcus and Adam had fallen asleep. To be fair, they did have to wake up at 5 this morning in order to get enough hours in today. Steve and Bucky could last a lot longer, but even they needed sleep at some point, especially Bucky. They agreed to take shifts to hopefully get everyone rested by the time they got there.

As they passed the border of Pennsylvania, the sun had just begun to peak over the horizon. Bathing the land in sunlight instead of the pale blue-white that filled the sky when they left. Bucky wanted so badly to hold Steve's hand, but that would mean using his metal hand. He wouldn't be able to feel it anyway. Instead he got out some yarn he had brought and continued his latest project. He had a bundle of red white and blue yarn in his lap and worked silently. 

"What are you making?" Steve glanced at his hands. 

"Nothing. Just a stupid idea I decided to work on. Didn't have much else to do." Bucky shrugged. It was sentimental to say the least. He was a little embarrassed to even come up with such an idea, much less act upon it. But it was a moment of weakness and he wasn't one to abandon projects. 

"Are you sure? Because it looks like you're putting a lot of work into whatever it is." He points out, "And last time you said that it ended up being a Christmas present for Bruce that ended up making him cry because he was so happy."

"Fine." Bucky sighs, "It's a baby blanket. You're not allowed to make fun of me."

"Why would I do that? That's so cute. I knew there had to be a mother hen in there somewhere." He grinned and lightly poked at Bucky's side. 

"I'm not a mother hen. You're the one that's been nesting." Bucky snapped back. 

"I have not."

"Yeah you have."

"Name one time." Steve accused. 

"Last night when you woke up at 2 in the morning to reorganize the cupboards. This morning when you had to check all the baby things. Yesterday when you spent three hours doing laundry. A week ago when-"

"I said name one time." Steve muttered to himself. Bucky looked at the backseat to check on Adam. He tapped on Steve's shoulder and gestured back. Marcus was laying across the seat bench with Adam's head on his chest and his arms around his waist. Both were fast asleep. They both smiled at the pair. 

Bucky turned back to his blanket and worked on the stitching. He opened the glove box to look for a car charger for his phone and stumbled across a piece of paper. It was ripped in some spots and the creases were set deep from being folded up. Yellow and dry, he carefully unfolded it to reveal a drawing of bright eyes, a square jaw, and a huge grin. Unmistakably a picture of Bucky. Most of the time, Steve's old pictures had nothing to do with him. If they did it was either sexual or made without his knowledge, sleeping, swimming, talking with someone, looking out at the world. He'd never seen a simple portrait of himself before. 

He blinked and stared at the drawing. He wore a loose shirt, his hair was disheveled, but he looked vibrant. Steve saw that he'd found the picture and tried to snatch it away out of embarrassment. Bucky held him away and flipped it over. Steve had scribbled a note on the back. 

_I love you, Bucky. Your best girl misses you._

"Where did this come from?" He asked. Steve didn't answer for a minute or so. 

"After you fell, we had to continue the missions. But they decided to take me on a vacation to help with the mourning. You know that they knew how close we were. Right?" Steve started. 

"I'd hope so. We made out in front of 'em more times than I care to count." Bucky shrugged. 

"Point is, we all went camping at the Grand Canyon. I wanted you to be there with me, so I drew a picture of you and pretended you were." Steve explained. Bucky could feel himself tearing up, yet again he wanted to get rid of the hormones running wild through his body. His doctor told him that it was because he wasn't used to having so much estrogen in his body and he should expect it. He'd recently started researching trans girls going through hormone therapy and he found himself relating more and more with what was happening. Steve put a hand on his thigh to comfort him as best as he could. 

They drove for hours. It was 11 at night and they were just reaching the border of Oklahoma. They decided to stop in Joplin for the night and hopefully get another early start in the morning. Steve was outraged at how expensive the hotel was. A whole $60. He remembered spending a tenth of that to get into a high end hotel when he traveled with Bucky. They told Adam and Marcus about the times they camped in the car to save money on their various road trips, which were never very far from home. That lead the conversation to camping out in the woods during the war. Bucky loved looking up at the trees at night. He would name all the constellations and Gabe would tell the stories behind each one. 

"You know who you remind me of, Bucky?" Marcus asked, he seemed more relaxed than usual.

"Who?"

"Stitch." He answered. The other three looked at him with confusion, "Do you guys not know Lilo and Stitch?"

"They missed 70 years of history and I was kept as a soldier for HYDRA until a year ago. We have an excuse not to know who Lost and Put Together is." Adam reminded him.

"What?"

"Lilo means lost. Lost and stitched together. I'm going to take a guess and say that it's a Hawaiian movie." Adam sat back on his hands. 

"That's horrible and also kind of amazing. If we want to stay up for a while longer we could watch it. I could get it hooked up in a couple minutes." Marcus shrugged, "We slept in the car, but I get it if you guys are tired."

"I've got a few hours left in me, surprisingly. I think the fatigue is finally going away." He looked down at his stomach, amazed.

"As long as Bucky sleeps tomorrow in the car, we can watch it." Steve scolded.

"I'm a big boy Stevie. I know my bedtime. And I'm pretty sure this is payback from all those times I wouldn't let you go out drinking because you were too sick." Bucky snapped back. Steve stuck his tongue out and told Marcus to start it up. Within minutes they were watching a destructive, fluffy, blue alien and a little girl rushing to hula class, dripping wet, and late. She made the excuse that she had the give a fish a sandwich and it couldn't be a tuna sandwich because he's a fish. Her older sister was fighting to keep custody of her. The little girl got to adopt the little blue alien. They laughed and smiled and the badness level chart and how he collapsed from the lei around his neck. Then Stitch took his book out into the woods and told Jumba he was waiting for family. It was too much for his heart to handle. Bucky broke, he silently cried, trying to keep anyone from hearing. The words rang in his ears _You were built to destroy. You will never belong._

Steve brought an arm around his shoulders and placed a hand on his belly. He subtly reminder that he did have a family. He did belong. Luckily the movie ended with Stitch and his family. It made him think about his own family. Steve, Adam, Baby Harley, Tony, Sam, Nat, Clint, and all the others. It's little, and broken, but still good. He snuggled into Steve. It's still good.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is easily the most in depth research I've ever done. And that's seriously saying something considering I once spent two days looking into how wigs were made. It's just as interesting as it sounds, I promise. I went all out for you guys. All real places in real towns. 
> 
> I recently got back from a very long road trip. I never want to hear Sexyback again. 10 hours of that on repeat is something I wouldn't wish upon my worst enemy. And that was in one day.


	20. 23 Weeks

Steve woke Bucky up in the morning to the smell of bacon and coffee. He handed him a plate of waffles and bacon, a small bowl of fruit, and a plastic cup of orange juice from the hotel breakfast bar. He had breakfast for himself too, which is where the smell of coffee came from. As much as Bucky wanted to rip the cup from his hands and chug it down, he let it be. Only partially because of the baby. The other part of him knew that Steve took his coffee with so much cream and sugar that it was barely coffee at all. It wouldn't be worth it.

"It's not fantastic, but it's pretty good. You should eat up, we've got a lot of fun stuff to do that I know you'll like." Steve told him. As soon as they finished eating they said goodbye to the boys and headed out, "I know we went and visited yesterday, but we're going out to the canyon. This could freak you out a little, so be aware of that."

They walked out onto a huge horseshoe shaped platform. Bucky looked down at the glass under his feet. He could see straight to the bottom of the canyon. Steve kept a hand firmly around his waist to keep him steady. Every single step he took made him think he was going to plummet to the bottom, but every single time he stayed in the air. He felt like he was floating as he looked at the huge rock formations in front of him. His acrophobia made him want to run back inside and curl under a blanket in the corner, but something about the scene in front of him made him stay. He was afraid it would be horribly underwhelming when he went to see it, and yesterday was to a degree, but this was more than he could've hoped for. Words couldn't describe how amazing it was and too soon they had turned back, leaving Bucky beaming. Steve kissed his cheek while he babbled about how pretty it was. And after their short visit they were off to the next spot. 

"Stevie, what's a deer farm?" Bucky asked when he saw the sign.

"Come in and find out." Steve swung an arm over his shoulder and brought him inside. He paid admission and took him to the first area. Deer roamed around the entire area, tan fur with white spots. One of them walked up and started chewing on Bucky's shirt. He pet its soft head and scratched behind its ears like a dog. It nuzzled its face into his side and continued following him around the entire tour. They stopped and looked at the bison sunbathing in their fences. Kids ran around everywhere, dashing from gate to gate and screeching with laughter. 

Bucky pet the camels, their dark eyes staring at him through heavy eyelashes. One of them took Steve's cap with its teeth. A zoo keeper came up and helped them get it back, he apologized with a polite smile and handed it back. They proceeded along to the bucks. Identical to his deer friend he'd made save for the antlers. They nuzzled against Bucky making him feel like Snow White. He thought about trying to convince one of them to do his laundry for him. Steve smiled as he pet the deer. 

Sadly another gate separated a small portion of the walkway, meaning they temporarily abandoned their deer friend. There was a boy who was maybe three pulling on his mother's shirt asking why Rudolph wasn't with the other reindeer. She told him she didn't know, obviously not having time for silly questions with a baby on her hip and scolding two other kids. Bucky tapped him on the shoulder and suggested that maybe Rudolph was out helping Santa. He only had three and a half more months until Christmas, so he probably needed some extra help. The boy asked what the other reindeer names were, and Bucky helped him climb onto the railing so he could show him who was who in Santa's workshop without bending over. 

The Rudolph song hadn't even been written until he was 20, much less become popular, so he was much more familiar with the other eight. There were five reindeer standing there, eating food from people's hands. He pointed them out as Donner, Blitzen, Dancer, Cupid, and Vixen. Those being the first that came to mind. A six year old girl came up to him in a Frozen t-shirt and braided hair accused him of leaving out Sven. He'd watched the silly Disney movie through a sheen of tears when he first reunited with the Avengers. 

"He's with Kristoff of course. Big, dumb, blonds never get far without someone to tell them when they're being stupid." His gaze slowly drifted to Steve. He got a light shove in return, making him giggle. She nodded like she agreed with him. He let the boy climb down back to the ground. 

"Is he your boyfriend?" She asked. Bucky nodded. 

"Your arm is really hard and cold." The boy pointed out. 

"Because it's a robot arm." Bucky explained. He pulled up his sleeve to show him the shiny silver metal. He gasped and begged to touch it. He smiled and told him he could. 

"Who's your tummy so big?" The girl asked. 

"Because my boyfriend and I are having a baby." He loved kids. You could tell them the most absurd logic and they'd just nod. You could tell them your deepest insecurities and they'd counter you with positivity. 

"I thought only girls could have babies." She scowled. 

"Some really bad people made so I could have babies too. I actually have another kid, but he's at home right now." He told her. She nodded like she understood every word. 

"Does your arm do cool tricks?" The boy asked. 

"No, but it has super strength. Sometimes I rip doors off the hinges on accident. That's why Steve always opens doors for me." He told him. 

"Is that Steve?" She pointed to him, sitting back petting the reindeer. Bucky nodded. He looked at them with a smile. 

"Steve's a dumb name." She looked at the door. Steve's mouth dropped open and Bucky started cackling. 

"It really is, isn't it." He agreed with her, Steve looked betrayed, "She said it."

The girl talked about what they were going to name the baby while the boy tried to gain as much knowledge as possible about the robot arm. Their mother walked over and scolded them for bothering the kind man. He swore they weren't an issue and he needed the practice anyway. 

"You're expecting?" She asked. 

"Through a very long, complicated, sad, disturbing series of events, yes I'm expecting. In fact I'm probably on the-the. Steve," He called back, "how do you say Телефон in English?" 

"Phone." He answered. 

"That. I'm multilingual, I forget what word goes where sometimes." He shrugs, "Actually, Let's see what happens when I look up my name."

The first result was a news story about the Barnes-Rogers baby. The third result was an article about why he shouldn't be able to keep the baby due to his history. He shook his head. 

"Bad idea." He put his phone away. She saw the name on the screen in a short blurb under one of the sites. Her jaw dropped. 

"That's Captain America." She stated, pointing to Steve. 

"Yeah." He smiled. 

"My grandfather was one of the people he saved in the 107th. I wouldn't be alive if not for him." She beamed. 

"Neither would I." Bucky looked down, "For more reason than one. Go ahead and talk to him. He looks big and scary, but he's nothing more than a big teddy bear."

She walked up to him and struck up a conversation. He smiled and offered to hold the baby while they talked so she could rest. They must've talked for five minutes before she left and they moved on. The mini horse were Bucky's favorite in the farm. They were so fluffy and soft looking. They looked like tint little stuffed animals that walked. One even had a tiny saddle on. Steve liked the coati. They were little racoon like animals, that kind of reminded Bucky of King Julian from Madagascar. 

They left through a gift shop, where Steve wanted to stop and look around. He left Bucky by himself for awhile before joining back up with him. 

As soon as they sat back down in the car Bucky sighed with relief. Steve put a hand on his belly and kissed his cheek. 

"You want to head back to the room?" He asked. Bucky nodded, "Okay."

He kissed him again and drove back to the hotel. Bucky collapsed back on the bed and took off his shoes. Steve left him with a kiss and said he was going to run to the store really quick and pick up some stuff. He'll be right back. Bucky fell asleep pretty quickly after that. He had a nightmare about blood and snow and violence. 

He jolted awake. Thank God Steve was back. He rolled over, curling up next to him. 

"I had a bad dream." He muttered, and promptly fell back asleep, feeling much safer with a warm body next to him. This time he had dreams about Brooklyn and that abandoned train car they would visit. He wanted so badly to be back there, have a tea party with him while the sun set over the creek. 

When he woke up once again, Steve said he had a present for him. He waited for Bucky to wake up a little more and pulled a little black box out of his pocket. He handed it to him and waited for his reaction. Bucky opened it and saw a silver ring with a little dolphin on it. It had been strung onto a chain. 

"I said I'd get you a ring, didn't I?" Steve rested his head on Bucky's chest, hand on his stomach, "We aren't officially engaged yet, but I wanted something. Besides I still have mine."

"From before I went to war?" Bucky looked down at him. Steve nodded. Bucky pulled him in for a kiss. Steve melted into him. 

And all was right with the world. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The deer farm is an actual place, which is amazing. And they have a [360 VR Tour](http://www.deerfarm.com/vr.html) for free on their website in case you want to see it.
> 
> Originally there was a portion for Adam and Marcus, but I wasn't feeling it. Let me know if you'd like more of them in the story.


	21. 24 Weeks

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm really sorry I've been gone for so long, but life has been kind of awful lately and I haven't exactly had the heart to write. I don't really want to get into it, but I'm fine. I promise I'm okay. You don't need to worry.
> 
> This chapter is all over the place, but hopefully it's still good

Steve walked into his room to see Bucky staring down at his own stomach. He asked what exactly he was doing.

"I can't see my feet." He responded. Steve laughed and watched his squish his face, "What the hell is happening? I didn't have this much fat in my face before. I didn't have chipmunk cheeks before."

"You have another appointment tomorrow, we'll bring it up then. Until then, Tony brought us a present. More for you actually, he said he wanted to make sure you had something you could do." Steve told him. Bucky quietly followed him out of his bedroom. Tony was plugging a black box into the TV with a few cables. He explained how to turn the box on and handed another remote to Bucky. This one felt better to hold in both hands instead of one. 

"Hold that button down until it starts blinking." Tony pointed to the remote.

"What exactly is it?" Bucky asked. Tony called it an Xbox. Which explained why there were so many X's everywhere. He had played video games before, but just silly nintendo games mostly.

"I rigged it up quite a bit so the system's better. Better voice activation, FRIDAY's the new AI in there, it's a touch more efficient, I also know from experience that people tend to hold the remotes pretty tightly. The plastic it usually has can stand up to it really well, but I wasn't sure about your arm. So all the buttons have been reinforced and it has been fitted with a brand new carbon fiber case. It withstood my Iron Man gloves and Mario Maker, trust me when I say it'll hold up." Tony babbled on. Bucky was just impressed that it did what it could do. Tony showed him how to pick from the games that were on there and explained what buttons did what. 

After getting a handle on the controls he asked if he could play something else. Not that he hated what he was playing, but he wanted everything. Tony explained the games he had put on there and how high of a risk there was that it could upset him. A few LEGO games, Minecraft, and Fifa were all very low on the rating, while Halo, Call of Duty, and Fallout were very high. Bucky asked about a game featuring a girl in an orange jumpsuit jumping across the cover of the game. 

"That's called Overwatch. It's like what would happen if Pixar made a shooter game. You get different characters and stuff, it's pretty fun. Might trigger something though." He shrugged. Bucky turned it on. A very endearing gorilla with glasses gave him a speech about what he was doing and Tony taught him how to play with different characters. Bucky took an immediate liking to a cowboy character by the name of McCree. Of course he was best with the sniper, Widowmaker, but every battle he opted to go with the cowboy. The longer Steve watched him play, the more he wondered why he picked someone he wasn't as good with. Maybe he wanted more of a challenge, but even when he was losing the fight, he hated switching to Widowmaker. It took a quick Google image search on his phone to figure out why. 

His arm.

In the character selection menu, McCree's left arm was hidden beneath a Clint Eastwood style poncho, and Steve wasn't paying attention to see it before. But the second you saw him at another angle, it was blaringly obvious. His left arm was entirely metal up to the elbow. Combined with the fact that Steve and Bucky had been raised on Cowboy movies and played Cowboys and Indians as often as they could when they were kids, it was no wonder he had found a favorite so quickly. For at least 5 years, Bucky dreamed of being a cowboy when he grew up. Of course he picked a cowboy with a mechanical left arm over a blue, French sniper with a V neck down to her naval. Bucky offered the remote to Steve a few times but he always turned it down. He played for hours, winning nearly every battle and quickly learning how to use every character efficiently and effectively. He earned play of the game about half the time. He was a soldier after all. Even so, McCree still remained his favorite. 

~*~

Bucky was tidying the kitchen when Steve went to ask him if he needed anything from the store. He was about to speak when he heard Bucky absentmindedly singing to himself. It must've been a new song, because Steve didn't recognize it. He sounded lovely. It sounded peaceful, but somber. He sang about trying and failing, and fixing someone. Trying to stay quiet, Steve pulled out his phone and started recording. He switched to another song. Equally as somber and peaceful. This one about starting over. He turned the camera towards himself and gave a thumbs up. He posted it to Instagram with the caption _He has no idea I recorded this. I don't think he knows he can even sing. Love him so much._ He stuck his phone back in his pocket and walked up behind Bucky. He snaked his arms around his belly and kissed his shoulder.

Bucky jumped a little, but turned and wrapped his arms around Steve's neck. He was about to kiss him when his phone buzzed on the counter. Then again, and again, and again. It managed to buzz 12 more times before he could even turn it on. He muttered something about turning off that damn buzzing, opened up Instagram and scrolled through his notifications before showing him the screen. The video of him singing. Steve didn't think Bucky would find out about it so soon. He blushed.

"Steve, the fuck is this shit." He said with a murderous smile.

"I'm sorry, it was just so cute and you sounded so pretty and I wanted everyone to know about it and please don't be mad." He babbled, pulling him into a hug. Bucky pushed away, took a selfie of him flipping the camera off and started typing. He turned the screen back to Steve. He read the caption. _My response to my asshole boyfriend @CaptRogers and his video of me singing._ Steve grinned.

"You called me your boyfriend." He buried his head in his hands.

"That's what you are isn't it?" Bucky asked with a tilt of his head. Steve nodded and peppered his face with kisses. 

"I'm going to the store, need anything?" Steve asked. Bucky shook his head. He would've gone with, but he didn't like the looks people gave him. He couldn't really hide the now huge bump he had, no matter how many layers he wore.

~*~

Bucky rested his head on Steve's shoulder. He had decided to look up fanart of himself on tumblr, and he enjoyed every second. He fell in love with each piece he discovered, showing Steve some of his favorites. One had him in his old uniform, dark and frightening, but he also had on a flower crown. Someone decided to make the little Avengers argument into a baseball rivalry. There was a comic about Bucky not wanting Steve to be his boyfriend, but still in love with him. He had been drawn entirely in pink, with startling blue eyes, carrying Steve to bed, kissing Steve on the Kiss cam, coloring on his arm in Sharpie.

And then he got braver. He looked up fanfiction of him and Steve. He found a juicy one and started reading aloud.

"The creature wrapped its thick, juicy tentacles around Steve's limbs and administered another violent shock into his body. Bucky whimpered at the erotic sight and began to unbutton his pants. Steve moaned as it pushed deep inside of him, coating his insides with mucus. Bucky couldn't keep his hands off of him. He thrust in with the creature, making Steve cry out in agony at the stretch he now felt. He-"

"Nope. No more internet for you." Steve reached for Bucky's laptop, but he jerked it away and laughed.

"What? Tentacle porn not your thing? It doesn't turn you on to have me thrust inside you beside those thick, juicy tentacles?" Bucky asked innocently.

"Bucky, you need to stop reading weird porn." Steve told him.

"It's fun though. Besides, how else would I know about two quart milk enemas, or eating hamsters for erotic pleasure, or eating dead skin off of a sunburn, or jacking off to someone vomit-"

"Bucky. Stop reading weird porn." Steve repeated. Bucky stuck his tongue out and stopped for a while, until he found his all time favorite fanfic.

"Ryan bit his bottom lip, moaning as he felt the first rush of the warm milk sliding into his body. The beginning of the enema was always like Brendon's fingers were now, smooth and soft almost. The cramps would come soon enough, but Brendon's fingers would still be the same." He read dramatically. Steve nearly tackled him, but he kept reading, "When they started, one of Ryan's hands flew up to his stomach and Brendon stopped the flow without a word, letting the other boy massage his abdomen to ease the pain. 'Just tell me.' 'Okay,' Ryan whispered, his hand still on his stomach. Brendon loosed the clamp again and Ryan felt the warmth continuing to enter his body. He continued to try to massage away the dull ache of the cramps as he felt his stomach slowly begin to expand from the amount of liquid he'd taken. 'Stop,' he choked out again. He wasn't supposed to ask how much, but he was desperate to know."

Steve managed to lock onto his collarbone. Bucky stopped struggling, instead just relaxing in his grip. He set his laptop on the floor next to him and let Steve do what he wanted. Steve rested his head on his chest and curled up next to him, when Bucky started singing again.

"I could've wished a thousand wishes, for this night I can't believe," He sang, "That it's finally me and you and you and me, just us and your friend Steve."

Steve pushed him, but there was no force behind it. Bucky giggled and continued his song. Steve kissed him and then continued for Bucky.

"Are you gay for Steve I think you may be, and that would be alright," Steve ran his fingers through his hair. Bucky kissed him before he could keep going.

"I'm pretty damn gay for Steve I think." Bucky giggled and wrapped his arms around his neck. Steve kissed him one more time before laying back down and falling asleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was spawned out of my endless hours playing Overwatch instead of doing anything productive. If any of you are wondering my favorite characters are Mercy, Roadhog, Mei, and Sombra.
> 
> For anyone who has never played Overwatch, 1) you're missing out, 2) [Here](https://playoverwatch.com/en-us/) is the game's website with all the info you could ever need and a link to actually buy the game if that's something you want to do.
> 
> The songs Bucky sings are Fix You and The Scientist both by Coldplay.
> 
> And here's a list of all the pictures. Credit goes to their respective artists.  
> [Flower Crown](http://quercusrubra.tumblr.com/post/144769240640)  
> [Baseball](http://suitfer.tumblr.com/post/156651090315/civil-war-where-everything-is-the-same-except-team)  
> [Don't Want to be His Boyfriend](http://parcelinc.tumblr.com/post/150870390768/dammit-bucky)  
> [Pink](https://crow-sizna.tumblr.com/post/155919300423/after-years-i-finally-finished-my-winter-soldier)  
> [Eyes](http://oceanvoiid.tumblr.com/post/154446048983/i-dont-deserve-any-of-your-sympathy)  
> [Sleepy](http://ofsparrows.tumblr.com/post/144277831478/sleepy-supersoldiers-round-up-from-twitter-where)  
> [Kiss Cam](http://alstonwiggles.tumblr.com/post/150275641224/kiss-cam-mishaps-are-one-of-my-favorite-things)  
> [Sharpie](http://rin0001.tumblr.com/post/145659120687/%EC%8B%9C%EB%B9%8C%EC%9B%8C%EB%B3%B4%EA%B3%A0-%EA%B7%B8%EB%A6%B0-%EC%8A%A4%ED%8C%81%EB%B2%84%ED%82%A4-%EC%83%81%EC%B2%98%EB%A5%BC-%EA%B0%80%EB%A6%AC%EA%B8%B0-%EC%9C%84%ED%95%9C)
> 
> The fanfiction Bucky reads in loosely based on something I found that I kind of wish I didn't find. Not even gonna mention it here because it may have traumatized me a little. And of course the infamous milk fic, not the most insane believe it or not, but still a classic. 
> 
> [You're Friend Steve](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rD2PrJVfFt0)


End file.
